Barkeep, the Science is Settled

This is science so you should read it and be smart and scientifical:

Moderate drinkers tend to have better health and live longer than those who are either abstainers or heavy drinkers. In addition to having fewer heart attacks and strokes, moderate consumers of alcoholic beverages (beer, wine and distilled spirits or liquor) are generally less likely to suffer strokes, diabetes, arthritis, enlarged prostate, dementia (including Alzheimer’s disease), and several major cancers.

But there’s more. According to the report — which is scientifically proven science — even when consumed in moderation, alcohol can help prevent sobriety.

So don’t argue. And grab me a breakfast beer while you’re up?