Guaranteed: The Scariest Thing You Will Read All Week

DRUDGE

So I saw this Drudge headline and figured he must have taken Professor Ditherton Wiggleroom out of context, because there's just no way Wiggleroom thinks we're that stupid, or is that stupid himself. But out of fairness to Drudge, I clicked on the link to see what the Professor had actually said, and here are his actual words:

"Now, this debt ceiling -- I just want to remind people in case you haven't been keeping up -- raising the debt ceiling, which has been done over a hundred times, does not increase our debt; it does not somehow promote profligacy. All it does is it says you got to pay the bills that you've already racked up, Congress. It's a basic function of making sure that the full faith and credit of the United States is preserved."

Obama went on to suggest that "the average person" mistakenly thinks that raising the debt ceiling means the U.S. is racking up more debt:

"It's always a tough vote because the average person thinks raising the debt ceiling must mean that we're running up our debt, so people don't like to vote on it, and, typically, there's some gamesmanship in terms of making the President's party shoulder the burden of raising the -- taking the vote."

I think he was stoned, and I'm not kidding. Either Wiggleroom was stoned when he said those words, or stoned when he or his speechwriter wrote those words, because that is not how a non-stoned person speaks or thinks. As a young man I spent four years in the former Pot Capital of the World™, Humboldt County, CA -- and I know these things.

A buddy of mine and I used to get high and crack each other up for hours. We figured it might be smart if one time we kept a list of all the funny stuff we came up with while stoned. So we smoked and laughed and wrote things down, and smoked and laughed and wrote things down. And laughed and wrote things down. Later, looking at the list, we were a little surprised that it said "Cheese" and that was it.

So a stoned person might get it in their heads that raising the debt limit doesn't actually incur any debt because... the debt, it's already there man. It's already there! And the debt becomes this thing in your mind, this huge concept you can't quite wrap your brain around, because it's already there. Don't you see? Congress already did it already. Whoa.

If I'm not making any sense to you, it's because I've put myself fully back in that frame of mind I spent so much time in, way back when. And stoned is exactly how the Professor sounds in that speech. He sounds like 22-year-old me, laughing his ass off for two hours at the word "cheese."

And before the usual (and vile) prog suspects accuse me of racism, remember that I just spent 250 words or so comparing the Professor to a bunch of idiot 20-something white kids (including me), living in one of the whitest (and most vile-y progressive) places in America.

But that speech Wiggleroom gave, that statement he made. It reveals a level of thinking -- if "thinking" isn't too strong a word -- appropriate to a college dorm or the faculty lounge. It is so far removed from reason and reality, that it must have gotten there in one of two ways. There's the short way: Smoke some pot. And the long way: Spend a bunch of years in Ivy League schools being untaught how to think.

Or, I suppose, both.

Although I did just think of a third option, and that is the Professor simply isn't very smart.

Here's a short series of tweets of mine from ten days ago, when Wiggleroom was stepping on his own penis while walking along the road to Damascus:

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On the worst day of Wiggleroom's self-made Syrian crisis, Biden found a lame excuse to get the hell out of Dodge. Say what you will about the Veep, but he does possess political instincts. But the guy who says raising the limit doesn't increase the debt -- he's got to be a real dummy. Or stoned. Or the product of a postmodern education.

I can't choose, nor can I decide which option is the scariest. But the idea that the Professor is any of the three has me so shaken that I'm actually glad that Vladimir Putin disgraced our Professor for the whole world to see. It's a horrible realization, but Putin kept us out of a war that would have been led by the guy who thinks that raising the debt limit doesn't increase the debt.

We're going to need a lot more "luck" like that if we're going to make it through the next three years.

POSSIBLY RELATED: Ed Driscoll concludes his latest with one frightening question. Clear the children from the room before clicking.

ONE MORE THING: Yes, raising the debt ceiling really does increase the debt.

FINALLY: Munchies?