Gone Shoppin'

It’s Melissa’s birthday today and I’ve got lots to do — taking a personal day.

Which is really hard to do on the same day CBS reports that Professor Ditherton Wiggleroom’s popularity jumped off the high dive. Into the shallow end. Of an empty pool. Except for the underfed alligators who have taken up residence. And there’s a volcano rumbling all Vesuvius-like in the near distance.

Did I forget to mention the sharknado and the asteroid the size of Texas?

Yeah. All that and more.

On my day off.

Maybe this will end up being just a half day off — gonna hustle to get all my birthday prep done. Because this news stuff today is schadenfreudetastic.