The Party of Youth

Let’s do a little math this morning.

Hey, where are you going? I promise this will be fun.

Let’s look at our two top Democrat contenders for 2016, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden. Hillary (born in 1947) represents the party’s youth wing and Biden (born in 1942) represents the party’s ability to stick hair plugs and dentures on a learning-disabled sea urchin and address it as “Mr. Vice President.”

Take the ages both will be in 2016 and add them together, and the result is 143. Now subtract that figure from the year they’re expected to run for President, and you’ll get 1873.

In 1873, Ulysses S. Grant was sworn in for his second term.

Think about that.

Let’s go one better, back to the dawn of this century, when Al Gore and George W. Bush were locked in a bitter legal battle for the White House. Take Gore (52) and add that to Bush (54) and subtract from 2000, and you get 1894 — 21 years later than 2016’s contenders, even though Bush v Gore was 16 years earlier.

The only thing graying faster than the Democrats is my temples from doing all this math.