What -- No Frickin' Side-Boob?*

Some things cannot be explained by human logic. Other things cannot be explained by divine inspirations. There are even things that cannot be explained by either.

So when you get to that third category, and weave in Natalie Portman and Bob Guccione and silver screen lesbian sex… well, for that, you pretty much can count on Stacy McCain to explain.

*Stacy fans will “get” the headline. Everyone else needs to become a fan.