You've Got a Better Idea?

Well. Not content with an unprecedented four primetime news conferences to date in his young administration, President Obama now needs to address the entire public school system. And not just for a Hey-Kids-Howya-Doin-I'm-Your-New-President-So-Be-Good-In-School-This-Year-Mmmkay? speech.

You know, like back when I was a kid and Jimmy Carter would come around and hand out balloon animals at parties. Or maybe those were clowns. I get confused. Anyway.

Nope, Obama can't just say hey to the kiddies and encourage them to do their homework. He has to make this a -- what does the Left call it? -- a teachable moment. A speech-in, if you will. Teachers have even been given handy instructions on how best to integrate The One into the classroom. Here's some fun educational-type stuff your young son or daughter might be doing next week:

• Teachers could ask students to share the ideas they recorded, exchange sticky notes or stick notes on a butcher paper poster in the classroom to discuss main ideas from the speech, i.e. citizenship, personal responsibility, civic duty.

• Students could discuss their responses to the following questions:

What do you think the President wants us to do?

Does the speech make you want to do anything?

You mean, other than hurl?

Oh, and this:

Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us?

It's not mere education -- it's learnyness!

Now my son is young enough that he won't be subjected to the President's smiling face, dulcet tones, and calls to action. He won't be pressured by his teachers or peers to go along or get with the program.

Your kids might not be so lucky.

In impossible times, the only way to be a responsible parent is to do the irresponsible thing. If my son were in a public school...

I'd call him in sick next Tuesday. I'd keep him home. I suggest you do so. I urge you to do so. If pressed, be honest about your reasons -- but be reasonable about presenting them. Otherwise, don't offer an explanation. Make it a silent protest.

And while your kids are home, think up some patriotic games to play. Rent the delightful (and true-in-spirit-if-not-in-fact) musical, 1776. Set off some fireworks. Make it a mini Fourth of July.

Can't take the time off work? Well, I'm sure you have at least one patriotic neighbor with an older child, who might jump at the chance to play a little sanctioned hooky -- and make some babysitting money, too.

Spread the word. Pass the link around. And see if the President's face is still smiling, when he realizes he's talking to half-empty classrooms. Do make it a teachable moment -- one where the would-be teacher does the learning.

UPDATE: Lovely evil genius Dana Loesch had the same idea.

UPDATE: Joanne Jacobs, who's a specialist here, disagrees.

ONE MORE: Kate's kid will be in school.

ONE LAST THING: My reply to AllahPundit.