VodkaPundit

Helpful Holiday Help

I’ve been told stories of women (it’s always women for some reason) who can wrap a package using only three pieces of tape. I’ve even heard a version where she could wrap a gift using just a single piece.

Don’t believe them. These stories are all lies, designed to make men feel bad for the way we wrap gifts.

I did the math this afternoon, tested on several boxes. Each present, properly wrapped, requires exactly 24 pieces of double-sided Scotch Tape. Bigger packages might need more. (Your results may vary. Professional driver, closed course.)

You may also need a T-square, a spirit level, and in a few rare instances a claw hammer.

And if you’re unwrapping a present from your buddy Ed, you might need a circular saw to get it open.