Pardon the Language (But Don't Ignore the Funky Beat)

I suppose this was bound to happen eventually:

Pop icon PRINCE has vowed never to sing 50 of his own songs again, because of their explicit content. The PURPLE RAIN hitmaker, who became a Jehovah’s Witness six years ago (00), has removed songs including CREAM and GET OFF from his live repertoire, and insists there is enough music containing vulgar language already. He says, “You can’t push the envelope any further than I’ve pushed it. So stop. “What’s the point? So much of what we see on TV and hear on the radio is debased. I will not add to that.”

There’s a fun little game I like to play sometimes. It’s called “Summarize a Musical Artist’s Entire Output in One Sentence.” Catchy name, eh? Here are a few examples to get you started.

Morrissey: “I’m a miserable virgin homosexual and nobody loves me.”

Brian Setzer: “My car is fast and so am I and so’s my girl.”

The Bangles: “Whatever the Go-Go’s are doing, but without all the cocaine.”

Billy Idol: “I’m creepy and loud! Look at me! All creepy and loud!”

Liz Phair: “Guys suck, but I’m so so so so so so sexy, damnit.”

Peter Murphy: “When the music is darker than the lyrics are impenetrable, then you can get into the pants of Goth girlies.”

Prince: “I love Jesus, now let’s get naked and fuck before they drop the bomb.”

(And these are the things I come up with for artists I like.)

I really can’t blame Prince for his decision. Besides, it’s not like there aren’t hundreds of bootlegs of his old concerts. And have you heard his last couple albums? They come down to, “I love Jesus, so let’s get sweaty and dance.” Except for the language, not much has changed.