You Can't Say No With a Full Mouth

Are abstinence pledges keeping kids from having sex? I suppose that depends on what your definition of the word “is” is:

Teens who take abstinence pledges are almost as likely to be infected with sexually transmitted diseases as kids who don’t, according to a new study that found pledgers tend to substitute other risky behavior for regular intercourse.

The rates of oral and anal sex among people who planned to stay abstinent until marriage are higher than among other teens who have not had intercourse at all, according to the study, published in the April issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health. Researchers found that kids believe engaging in oral and anal sex gets around the rules of abstinence programs by technically preserving their virginity.

Let me get this, uh, straight: Abstience leads to buggery?

Anti-sodomites are gonna be pissed. The funny part is, they’re a subset of the same people who thought “just say no” was an effective way to curb teen sex.