Unhappy Customer

If you ever have a chance to do some business with Green Point Mortgage, don’t.

I mean, don’t simply not do business with them. Green Point Mortgage is so bad, just avoiding them isn’t enough. You’ll enjoy yourself more if you find a company which not only demands a higher rate and more closing fees than Green Point, but whose advertising promises you “a Nolan Ryan fastball to the crotch with every re-fi!” Actively seek out lenders whose names don’t even sound like “Green Point.” Sheen Joint Mortgage Company is right out, as far as I’m concerned.

As are Preen Loin, Teen Groin, and Wean Buoyant Mortgage, too.

So what happened? As I’ve mentioned once or twice before, Melissa and I needed a home equity line of credit in order to re-do the kitchen and put a proper wet bar in the basement. Or rather, to do both projects at once, instead of having to parcel out the various stages of each over the next couple of years.

We’ve now closed the deal with Green Point Mortgage four times. Yes, four times. The last closing was nine days ago, including an initial draw of $12,000 which was to have been presented to us as a cashier’s check on Friday.

We still don’t have the check. They tell us it will be here Wednesday. I’m not holding my breath. I’m not doing much of anything, really, other than seething. (On the plus side, seething is one of my few natural talents, so at least I’ve been able to put it to good use.)

Here’s the story so far.

We walked out of the first closing, because Green Point Mortgage thought that an equity line of credit meant one big check.

After the second closing, we were told by one of Green Point’s ever-so-helpful customer support reps that it would take at least a month to make any HELOC money available to us. So we insisted on re-closing again, this time with that above-mentioned initial draw. Turns out, the ever-so-helpful idiot was completely wrong, so there should never have been a third closing.

Before the third closing, our closer noticed that the date on one sheet of paper read May 14 instead of May 17. Being a conscientious closer, Diane called Green Point Mortgage, and asked would it be all right if she changed the date by hand and had us initial the change, or should they draw up a new sheet. She was told our initials would work the proper magic. You know what happened