He's Acting Senile Again It's

He’s Acting Senile Again
It’s a slow news day, so let’s play Catch Up Comedy for some of our new readers.

If you’ll think back a few months, you might remember Reuters announcing they wouldn’t use the word “terrorist” anymore to describe terrorists. Instead, they would follow the left-liberal tradition of reserving that word for people who don’t want to double school lunch spending.

Reuters Head Dummy Stevn Jukes said “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

Fine, I thought. Two can play at that game. So every time this blog mentions Reuters, we have a little fun. The joke always follows the same pattern. “In today’s news, wire service Reuters (Motto: ‘One Man’s Wire Service Is Another Man’s Inflamed Hemorrhoidal Tissue’)…” just to give a new example.

Anyway, you get the idea.

Here are Reuter’s fake mottos to date:

One Man’s Wire Service Is Another Man’s Shin Splints
…Is Another Man’s Mysterious Crotch Fungus
…Is Another Man’s Explosive Diarrhea
…Is Another Man’s Sucking Chest Wound
…Is Another Man’s Spastic Colon Attack
…Is Another Man’s Compound Fracture
…Is Another Man’s Oversized Cold Sore
…Is Another Man’s 30-Foot Intestinal Parasite
…Is Another Man’s Wet Hacking Cough
…Is Another Man’s Kidney Punch
…Is Another Man’s Oozing Sore
…Is Another Man’s Painful Urination
…Is Another Man’s Rectal Exam
…Is Another Man’s Bladder Control Problem
…Is Another Man