Jill Was in Charge of the Dogs

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

Now that we know that the latest Secret Service documents revealed that the Biden Family dogs are as bite-friendly as the last batch, it's time to go back into the annals of the Biden Family lore and find out who the hell is in charge of these demons.  

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Last October, I combed the pages of multiple fawning magazine pieces about how wonderful the Biden family is — especially Jill. The objective was to find out Jill's role in the family and in Joe's political life. We called the piece "Dirty Jill," because all the evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, Jill Biden convinced her rickety and infirm husband that he could withstand the job of being president. Jill ordered him to run to the detriment of the country, not to mention himself. Her fingerprints are on everything from his basement campaign to the couple's pets.

Jill felt comfortable because Joe's presidency was supposed to be a set-and-forget farce. It is, in fact, the Obama Administration 3.0.

As the old Reagan era saying goes, "personnel is policy," and Joe's posse is made up of old Obama cronies. 

Jill cleared the way for it all. She signed off on Joe's fanciful notion that he could top off his hand-stitched $2,000 suits with a pair of Naturalizers and no one would ever notice the Vacancy sign on his forehead. 

But something else became clear in the readings about Jill that I failed to mention in that initial piece. Jill was in charge of the dogs. People who know dogs also know that's a big deal. 

"In most couples with pets, there’s usually one person who pays them a little more mind, senses their needs... It’s a pretty good bet that person is Jill," Vogue enthused in June 2021. “I’m out here every morning at six with the dogs,” she told Vogue. A reporter asked her, "Do they run around?" and she replied, “Yeah. I throw the ball. They get water.” 

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The same dogs who have bitten Secret Service Agents dozens of times complete with stitches and bloodletting on the Oval Office carpet were dismissed by Jill Biden as "dog drama." This was after a previous Secret Service document dump showing that her dogs bit them repeatedly.

"'Unbidden," she says, '…and then there was all the dog drama.' She lets out a mordant chuckle (both dogs temporarily left the White House after a pair of nipping incidents by the boisterous Major)," Vogue reported. “'I knew it was going to be hard for the dogs. I mean, Champ’s going on 14, you know? And to move him in and have him get used to it? And then Major... I mean, let’s face it. He hadn’t been around so many people in forever,'" went her "unbidden" excuse-making. 

"But now, at every turn, somebody’s stepping out or somebody’s coming around a corner. So I guess I felt...I really tried hard to make everybody comfortable. Make it feel like home. We brought family pictures down and put them all around. And so, you know, we’ve adjusted," she said hopefully. 

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Apparently she'd never heard of a crate. 

The German Shepherd's names, Commander, Champ, and Major, like Joe's 1967 Corvette, are meant to give Joe a patina of machismo. It's why he lies and pretends he's going to take someone out in back of the barn, challenges complete strangers to push up contests, and calls people names. He needs fluffers around him. Jill has gone along with the act. But she's met her match in Commander. 

Commander was finally removed from the First Couple late last year and sent someplace else (hopefully with someone who knows what they're doing). 

German Shepherds are by nature protective dogs, and their pack leader, Jill, doesn't have a clue about protective dogs' relationships with people who come too near them. 

She's not cut out for the job, and obviously Joe, who can't even walk his dogs without being pulled and dragged, is in no way up to the task. 

As someone who's had large-breed dogs I can tell you it's a near-full time job. It's a hell of a lot of work and responsibility. And Jill can't cut it. Leave the dogs alone, lady. 

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