Couldn't Resist This Actual Headline: 'Cows Remain at Large After Breakout at Idaho Meat Plant'

RENEGADES!

Cows were running free in Pocatello, Idaho, Tuesday, following in the hooves of a feisty heifer that escaped from a meat packing plant Friday. The pursuit of that cow made national headlines; five cows have now broken out of the plant in the past four days.

Two cows remain at large, part of a cohort of at least four animals that made a run for it Sunday. Their escape came two days after a 1,000-pound cow broke out by reportedly jumping a 6-foot fence.

As always, I blame Obamacare and progressives in academia for our runaway cow epidemic.

Also, admit it, you thought I was going to trick you and this was going to be a story about Lena Dunham, didn’t you?