Buzz Ballad: "Optimal"

“It’s not optimal,” said Obama
“It’s not optimal at all—
We’d prefer they’d sacked the consulate
But that nobody would fall;
It was all planned, don’t you see,
They’d take a hostage or two
And then I’d release the Blind Sheik
So that I could impress you;
Yes, I’d release the Blind Sheik
To ransom the Ambassador,
And then you’d be impressed by me
Even if you weren’t before.
We were running munitions
From that house in Benghazi
So that Syrian insurgents
Could be armed more easily.
It was just like “Fast & Furious”
With a Middle Eastern twist
We wanted to build the Arab Spring
And help those who’d resist.
Yes, everything was marvelous
It all was most discreet
‘Til those damn fools killed Stevens
And dragged him through the street
Now I must answer questions
About my armaments plan
And all I can do is stand here
And look like a girly man.
That’s why I tried to lay the blame
Upon a video;
Taking responsibility
Is something I don’t know.
So I will smile and try to find
Someone to take the fall;
Oh, no, it is not optimal
Not optimal at all.”