The PJ Tatler

Andrew Breitbart facts

Andrew Breitbart doesn’t turn the light on; he turns the dark off.

Andrew Breitbart doesn’t fight; he just allows you to lose.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Andrew Breitbart.

There are no mysteries in the universe — only things that Andrew Breitbart hasn’t shared with the rest of us.

Google automatically fills in “ndrew Breitbart” as soon as you think the letter “A”.

Each hurricane is now assigned a different name because it was just too repetitive to call every one “Andrew.”

There are actually four tenses: past, present, future, and Breitbart.

Sometimes you need to open a can of whoop-ass. Andrew Breitbart is already inside the can.

Andrew Breitbart has a stunt double. For the crying scenes.

Racehorses have to pee like Andrew Breitbart.

When Andrew Breitbart parted the Red Sea, it was hydrogen on one side, oxygen on the other.

Andrew Breitbart does not sleep. He waits.

When ghosts go camping, they sit around the fire and tell Andrew Breitbart stories.

Electricity uses Andrew Breitbart to light its house.

It’s no accident that the alphabet begins “A, B…”.

Andrew Breitbart doesn’t need Twitter; he’s already following you.

If at first you don’t succeed, you are not Andrew Breitbart.

The Bible uses the phrase “fire and brimstone” because “Andrew” and “Breitbart” were already taken.

Niagara Falls went over Andrew Breitbart in a barrel.

There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of creatures Andrew Breitbart allowed to live.

When Andrew Breitbart is in Rome, they do as Andrew Breitbart does.

If God has a beard, it’s because he wants to look like Andrew Breitbart.

Andrew Breitbart makes Happy Meals cry.

Darth Vader dresses up as Andrew Breitbart for Halloween.

Andrew Breitbart doesn’t need to look at his watch; he decides what time it is.

The sky is not the limit. Andrew Breitbart is the limit.

The movie “Anaconda” was filmed entirely inside Andrew Breitbart’s pants.

The FDA has now declared Andrew Breitbart an essential amino acid.

God may not play dice with the universe, but Andrew Breitbart does.

Only Andrew Breitbart can turn lemonade into lemons.

Andrew Breitbart uses pepper spray as a condiment.

Stonehenge is merely Andrew Breitbart’s building blocks from when he was a kid.

Even when Andrew Breitbart snoozes, he still wins.

Andrew Breitbart tells his GPS where to go.

Andrew Breitbart grew a beard at the age of 16. Months.

Andrew Breitbart has a grizzly bear rug on his floor. The bear is still alive — it’s just too afraid to move.

Andrew Breitbart doesn’t have to face consequences; consequences have to face Andrew Breitbart.

The Earth does not rotate on its axis; that’s just Andrew Breitbart walking.