The PJ Tatler

Tool Watch: 'Occupy Wall Street' Drones Mindlessly Repeat Whatever Frances Fox Piven Says

I wonder, do these Occupiers realize that they’re now forces for rolling back the clock on history? They’re supposed to be “progressives,” right? But their lack of leadership and goals, coupled with an adolescent mindset, are producing a kind of neo-anarchy on the greens. The only thing they’re missing is a peasant named Dennis railing at the king. The inevitable raids on their stuff by homeless addicts vomiting their way across the makeshift camps has already given rise to a kind of Occupy camp security, the most basic duty of a government. And note, one that isn’t being performed well on our border, but the Occupiers don’t care about that.

Next will come a kind of feudalism, as various Occupation (without vocation) voices vie for power and control and minions form factions. And after that, the revolution will become just another institution. That’s the arc of history, being played out by college students who probably don’t even know enough history to be able to grasp the irony of it all.

Until the Occupiers vault from their primitive state to a Leninist oligarchy (a process which should take another week or so), supposing they don’t just dissolve once they realize that camping out in urban parks paid for by others is no way to go through life or feed yourself, let’s enjoy their principled devotion to Luddism. The Occupiers apparently don’t like modern sound amplification equipment. Maybe because they’re taking a principled stand against the corporations that manufacture speakers and wire. Maybe it’s because they’re objecting to the non-green sources of electricity that such equipment demands. Maybe they’re still mad at Bob Dylan’s Woodstock set. Or maybe it’s because they couldn’t get their billionaire backers to spring for the speaker rental fees and power lines. Who knows, and who cares, really? When the attitude and the moment produce an anvil chorus of Commies cheerfully, mindlessly aping whatever an aging radical hippie professor says to them, it’s gold. It’s also a mild form of brainwashing, which uses the pressure of the group and chant to create and enforce conformity.

Am I wrong to hope against hope that the Bad Lip Readers get ahold of this asap?