The PJ Tatler

AG Holder: Civilian court system is America's 'most effective terror-fighting weapon'

Rigid ideology.

Holder’s declaration came in a Thursday speech to hundreds of progressive lawyers, advocates, judges and students gathered at the American Constitution Society’s annual gala. “I know that – in distant countries, and within our own borders – there are people intent on, and actively plotting to, kill Americans,” he told his legal peers in the enthusiastic audience. “Victory and security will not come easily, and they won’t come at all if we adhere to a rigid ideology, adopt a narrow methodology, or abandon our most effective terror-fighting weapon – our Article III [civil] court system,” he declared to much applause.

Holder delivered his speech several months after Congress and public opinion defeated his two-year political campaigns to transfer five captured Al Qaeda leaders from the military’s legal commissions to the legal profession’s civilian courts, and to close the military’s Guantanamo Bay terrorist detention facility.

Obviously, then, we should disband the DoD, mothball our ships and planes, hold bake sales to cover our new minimalist defense costs, and send liberal lawyers out to chase terrorists.

Am I a bad person for kind of hoping Holder does that last one?