The PJ Tatler

Former President Obama to star in new TV reality series

Having decisively placed his stamp on foreign policy by failing to make numerous decisions recently, President Obama is preparing for his staring role in a new television reality series, InDecision Time, scheduled to begin early in 2013. Former President Carter will be the master of ceremonies. Former President Obama, former Secretary Clinton and former Director of Intelligence Clapper will constitute the indecision panel and various celebrity dictator guests will appear in costumes of their choice. There will, of course, be a suitably multicultural studio audience.

As each celebrity guest comes on stage, he will do his best imitation of el Presidente Chávez – sing a bit, dance a bit, rant a bit and otherwise appeal to the audience. This will continue until the guest falls on the floor exhausted or until the boos and/or the applause reach a specified decibel level. Then, a loud gong will sound to signal “Enough!” The panel members will next have five minutes, with the assistance of the MC, to persuade each other of their views (if any) and to reach a consensus-based decision on whether the guest gets to stay for another round or must leave in disgrace while being pelted with Korans. Failure to reach a decision within the allotted time will mean that the studio audience gets to pelt the panel members with Korans.

Not only will this give Former President Carter something useful to do and keep him out of trouble, it will provide much appreciated morale boosts for the panel and also for the studio audience. The decisions of the panel will be more effective than any they now make in their day jobs and the audience will leave with a satisfied feeling that, finally, expressions of their views were heard.