My Tarot Reader Told Me I Should Start Huffing Shaving Lotion This Election Day

Nov 03, 2026 5:23 PM
Advertisement
My Tarot Reader Told Me I Should Start Huffing Shaving Lotion This Election Day
Edvard Munch/AI

Ah, the never ending emotional roller coaster of American election politics. Because the Democrats have not yet succeeded in turning the Republic into a one-party commie cesspool, voters still get to run the gamut of emotions over the course of time. For example, I did the math and I am batting just a little over .500 in presidential elections. I've been blessed with good health and have lived long enough make that a good sample. So, over the course of my adult political life, I have been disappointed almost half the time after we vote for a president. 

Advertisement

Really, really, double-secret probation disappointed the last three times a Democrat won.

Because the stakes for the future of the United States keep getting raised as the Democrats plunge deeper and deeper into the madness of Trump Derangement Syndrome, conservatives are  understandably a little tense for this one. OK, a lot tense. My conservative colleagues and friends have gone full Eeyore in recent weeks, worried about the long-term consequences of these midterm elections if the Democrats get their  Blue Tsunami. 

I have been offering this perspective for weeks, and I think it bears repeating: all is not lost if the aforementioned Blue Tsunami crashes upon America's political shores tonight — or whenever all of the final votes are counted. The Democrats are going to further expose the depths of their depravity while in leadership. They will no doubt believe that impeachment proceedings and the resurrection of the J6 dead horse for another beating will captivate the hearts of the members of the electorate who haven't yet bought into their vision.

More so than at any time in its long history, the Democratic Party is devoid of any serious, coherent policy ideas to offer the American people. Just look at what Haley Stevens said when explaining her endorsement of Mike Rogers:

I am a proud Democrat and believe in a woman’s right to choose, in organized labor, in opportunity for working families, and in making government work for ordinary people.

Advertisement

It's a lot of "preaching to the choir" pablum that isn't going to win any new hearts and minds to the Dems' anti-American crusade. That nonsense and hatred for a president who is beloved by almost half the country are all they've got.

If the Democrats win big, let them fly their Constitution-shredding freak flag for two years while an even more fired up President Trump mocks them and calls them out from his bully pulpit whenever he takes a break from vetoing any psychotic legislation they do manage to advance. The overwhelming message that the Dems will be sending to the American people is, "Here's why you shouldn't elect one of us president in 2028." 

Will it be irritating having to read and write "Speaker of the House Hakeem Jeffries?" Yeah, I'll barf a little. Will I be worried that he'll have the position for a long time? Nope. He's no Nancy Pelosi. In fact, I'm pretty sure he only got the promotion to minority leader because Granny Boxwine told the Dems to put him there and ensure that her successor didn't have the skills to outshine her. 

Watching Chuck Schumer chase his tail if he becomes the Senate Majority Leader again will be irritating, but he is a lot of fun to dump on. 

Obviously, I don't have a tarot reader, and my sinuses are too jacked up to derive any pleasure from huffing. The only reason I threw "shaving lotion" in there was because Jonathan Winters said it during my favorite appearance of his with Johnny Carson. The point of the headline was to illustrate that everyone wants us to panic. We still have President Trump and the Democrats' guillotine doesn't have any blades in it just yet. 

Advertisement

Let's save all of the negative panic energy for an election when the gulag is clearly in view. 

Click the button to get the Morning Briefing emailed to you every weekday. Have your coffee with me, people. It's free, and it supports conservative media!

Editor's Note: Unelected federal judges are obstructing President Trump's agenda and ignoring the will of the people.

Help us expose out-of-control judges determined to halt President Trump's mandate for change. Join PJ Media VIP and use promo code FIGHT to receive 60% off your membership.

Comments

VIP

Join the Conversation

VIP members get the ability to comment on articles.

Recommended

Trending on PJ Media Videos