There will be a lot written between now and December 25 about what a shallow consumer society we have become. All of it's true. Even those of us who still celebrate Christmas for religious reasons can get get caught up in the crass consumerism of "the holidays."
I am not at all opposed to spending money at this time of year. What gets my manly man knickers in a twist is the spending orgy gauntlet of people bugging me to give them money that kicks off the whole season. In the span of five days we have Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday, the latter of which is the poorest timing in the history of charity. People who truly embrace the vibe of Black Friday and Cyber Monday don't have a lot of money left to throw around for the needy come Tuesday.
I know that Giving Tuesday is a global thing but we Americans should be setting the agenda.
This isn't really about Giving Tuesday — it's about all of the days of the year where people are telling me to spend money. Americans have been dealing with that ever since the 16th Amendment was ratified. In addition to April 15, we've got the above-mentioned gauntlet and Amazon Prime Days twice a year. Walmart has kicked off its own version of Prime Days too. Pretty soon we're going to have "Random Thursday in March" and "Why in the Hell Are You Sitting on All Your Money in September?" savings to look forward to.
At some point in the future, every week of the year will feature a day when we're supposed to buy more stuff just so we can feel like we're not losing our consumer street cred.
It's bad enough that it's only December 3 and I've already developed carpal tunnel syndrome from fast-forwarding through football game commercials about people getting luxury vehicles as Christmas presents, because there's apparently a universe in which that happens. Honestly, if I ever meet someone who woke up on Christmas morning to a Mercedes-Benz SUV with a bow on it, I could easily see myself ending up on the evening news.
If evening news is still a thing.
It all became too much when people stopped having to leave their houses to get Black Friday deals. The folks who would get in line on Thanksgiving night and wait for hours to risk bodily injury so they could save $200 on a television to replace the one they got the previous Black Friday were a special breed. They were also clinically insane, but they weren't bugging me to spend money.
Once the Black Friday deals went online, it got really out of hand. It's like when they started putting ATMs in casinos. People no longer had to apply themselves to needlessly go broke.
I'm just saying that we should get that American work ethic back and have to put some effort into pissing away our money.
Anyway, like I said, this really wasn't about Giving Tuesday.
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