The Morning Briefing: Let's Swap San Francisco for Greenland

(Image: David Mark via Pixabay)

Hear me out…

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of “Thinking Outside All the Boxes.” I’m your host, Stephen Kruiser.

Look, I have never liked the Bay Area. While California’s politics may have chased me away, I have always loved everything else about the state, except San Francisco and its environs.


The weather is always awful. The Giants play there. They have a problem with human feces on the sidewalks. The Giants play there. The city launched the public career of Kamala Harris.

The Giants play there.

Now they’ve decided that some friends of mine are domestic terrorists.

The city has become a festering boil on America. It needs to go.

So let’s revisit the acquisition of Greenland. We know that Denmark says the island isn’t for sale but — to paraphrase an old adage — every kingdom of fourteen people has its price.

Let’s offer them a straight-up trade: San Francisco for Greenland.

Denmark can have it all. The overrated bridge that’s hidden by fog most of the time. Alcatraz. The tourism money. The Giants. Heck, give ’em the stupid song too, but we’re keeping Tony Bennett.

It’s not as if San Francisco offers any sort of strategic advantage. The best it can do in defense of the United States is give an invading force syphilis and a nasty case of Hep C.

Ball’s in your court, Denmark. Take the money and run.

Regarding CNN’s Climate Hoax Megachurch Worship…

What’s to write? These people are redefining unhinged fascism every day. I’ll just share some of the Twitter reaction.

Save a tree, kill a baby: 


I’m right about everything:

“Ten Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”

Let us now poison the planet with links.

PJM Linktank

Jussie Smollett’s Latest Legal Strategy: Blame Cops for Investigating

‘Will & Grace’ Claim They Never Wanted Hollywood Blacklists of Trump Supporters

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Star Walks Away From Democrats: ‘I Have Evidence Something Is Wrong’

THERE IS A GOD: Department of Energy Rolls Back Obama-Era Lightbulb Rules

Looming War in the Streets Update: Castro Wants ‘Structural Change’ to Keep Conservative Ideas Out of Schools

From the Mothership and Beyond

Labor Department To Reinstate Leif Olson After False Allegation Of Anti-Semitism

Today’s “Everything Leftists Say About Trump Voters is Projection” example: The Trump Voters Whose ‘Need for Chaos’ Obliterates Everything Else

Everything old is new again: THE HIGH HOPES OF THE LOW-TECH PHONE

Kinda wanted this one to be true: Hmmm: Williamson Deletes Tweet Crediting Mind Power For Turning Dorian’s Path Away From Mainland

Planned Parenthood Is Now Aiming To Teach Your Child To Be Transgender

Amazon’s Once Hard-Wired $10 Billion Crony Pentagon Deal – Keeps Fraying

‘Hello, 911’? Megan McArdle delivers ‘brutal takedown’ of smug lefty journo who questions her methodology

Cocaine Mitch: Hell Yes, We’d Fill a SCOTUS Vacancy Next Year

So there’s that: CNN’s Climate Change Town Hall Production Will Create Roughly 57.4 Tons Of Carbon Dioxide Emissions

Wolf Blitzer kicks off CNN’s #ClimateTownHall by giving the Dems a BIG TIME hurricane narrative assist

Joe Biden thinks the fact that Joe Biden is a gaffe-tastic idiot is funny

While Dems froth over climate hoax, here’s something real to worry about: The US is unprepared for space cyberwarfare

And they say manners are dead: Man breaks into Taylor Swift’s home but takes off shoes first “to be polite”

Joe Biden Panned for Evasive Answers, Bloody Eye at CNN Town Hall: ‘Rambling, Incoherent Mess’

Schlichter: Dumb Arguments About Gun Control

Assume nothing: Will President Trump keep Mike Pence on the ticket in 2020?

Bee Me


The Kruiser Kabana

When the problem is the solution: BREAKING M6 closed after crash spills 32,000 litres of GIN across road

Florida Hippie

In honor of the Dems’ climate hysteria pimping:

Now get out there and see how much single-use plastic you can find things to do with today.

PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author ofDon’t Let the Hippies ShowerandStraight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”


Trending on PJ Media Videos

Join the conversation as a VIP Member