According to my parents, the first word I ever said was “bye-bye.” (Or is that two words?) Either way, if I’m still lucid on my deathbed, I want my last word to be “Hello!”
Just so I’ll have gone through life doing absolutely everything bass-ackwards.
‘Cause I’m a big picture guy: If you focus on what’s important and nail the big things, who cares about the little stuff — like chronological order? No point chasing minnows when there are plenty of whales to hunt, right? Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t sweat the small stuff.
But when something’s wrong with the big picture, that’s when it’s time to freak out.
And that’s why I’m freaking out right now.
Over the past 72 hours, I’ve learned something horrible about myself: I’m a selfish, greedy person who cares more about his own happiness than his children’s success. I wish it wasn’t true, but it is.
Because otherwise, I wouldn’t be feeling this way.
This weekend, I dropped my oldest kid off at college. (He’s in the Army Cavalry and couldn’t join ‘til the spring semester.) Not just any college either: My college — James Madison University — where I graduated exactly 30 years ago.
And he’s ready. He’s super excited. JMU will offer him life experiences that I simply can’t. From living in a dorm and making new friends to discovering passions he never knew he had, he’s earned this opportunity to blaze his own trail. He’s gonna do great.
But instead of being happy for him, I’m suffocating in a thick, choking cloud of sadness.
Helping him move into his dorm was pretty trippy. About 60% of JMU was just like I remembered it, but the other 40% was totally different — with new buildings, new landscaping, and new everything else. It was strange. Disorienting.
It felt right and wrong at the same time.
And then it was time to say goodbye. We hugged and I left.
A very specific Rubicon was crossed, and nothing will ever be the same again. The last chapter was closed; our old storybook is done.
I ought to be grinning from ear to ear, beaming with pride. Like everyone says, college is the best years of your life. Personally, I loved it. Go Dukes!
(And good luck to JMU West, a.k.a. Indiana, in the college football playoffs tonight.)
But it wasn’t even close to being the best years of my life. Being a daddy — with all my favorite people living under my roof — was infinitely better. It was heaven on earth.
I never knew I could be so happy.
It’s so bizarre: For 18(ish) years, we’re dutybound to stay by our children’s side. Come hell or high water, they need to know we’ll always be there, no matter what. It’s our most sacred responsibility.
And then one day, we’re just as dutybound to let them go.
And you have to let them go with a big, fat, fake smile on your face, because you don’t want to make them sad. That would be the worst thing a parent could do: Rain on their kids’ parade and make it all about themselves.
I wish I didn’t feel this way. I’m ashamed and disappointed by my selfishness. This ought to be a moment of pride and joy, but it feels like my heart was ripped in half. Instead of sharing my kid’s excitement, I’m wallowing in loss with a lump in my throat.
Everything feels so wrong.
I gotta get over myself. This isn’t how a good daddy is supposed to behave.
Maybe it’s more shock than selfishness; I can’t really tell. And maybe, when my kid’s eyes light up as he tells me about his awesome new college adventures, I’ll feel different. Maybe that’s when the joy, pride, and happiness kick in.
And maybe that’s when the misery finally fades.
Maybe.
Sometimes, we have to say bye-bye before we can say hello.
PRedictions: A new Gallup poll ought to be required reading for GOP strategists, because it offers a blueprint for clubbing the left like they’re baby seals. In a key category, Republicans have a 20-point edge.
Gallup asked Americans, “In your opinion, which of the following will be the biggest threat to the country in the future — big business, big labor or big government?”
An overwhelming majority, 57%, said big government. Just 37% said big business. (And only 5% said big labor — a tiny minority, but we could probably safely slot ‘em on the GOP side.)
Either way, that’s at least a 20-point edge.
It’s not easy to run against the government when you’re the ones running the government. (It’s a more natural position for the opposition party.) But it certainly can be done. The ruling party just needs to define the stakes, the risks, and the benefits of reining in big government. Done effectively, it can help cast dispersions on the 2026 Democratic Party platform.
After all, every Democratic “solution” relies on big government growing even bigger.
It’s part and parcel of today’s left-wing ethos: Business is the problem and government is the solution. Like Mayor Zohran Mamdani of New York City said, “We will prove that there is no problem too large for government to solve, and no concern too small for it to care about.”
We should turn those words into an albatross, because that’s not at all what the American people want. A big government platform might win you 50.78% of the vote in an ultra-liberal city like New York, but it’s a recipe for a landslide defeat everywhere else.
PRojections: Even though it’s still a 20-point GOP advantage, the numbers, unfortunately, are moving in the wrong direction. And it’s unclear if we’re headed for a “new normal” where socialism actually supplants capitalism, or if it’s just your run-of-the-mill partisan polling hiccup.
Yes, 57% of Americans are most fearful of big government — but in 2016, that number was 67%. And 37% said they’re most fearful of big business — but in 2016, that number was 26%.
It’s gone from a 41-point Republican edge to a 20-point edge in just 10 years.
That’s an eye-popping level of attrition. If this trajectory holds, over the next 10 years, it’ll be a dead heat.
And 10 years after that, America will be a socialist country.
Might be smart to strike while the metal is still (somewhat) hot.
And before all the metal is nationalized by big government.
PRaise: To the neocons! Been quite a few years since the neocons received anything other than boos, jeers, and hisses from the GOP base. After all the broken promises and exaggerated claims from the Iraq War, they’ve been wandering in the political desert for 20 years, exiled from all policy-making decisions.
But that doesn’t mean they don’t have political utility.
For a brief, flickering moment, Iran stood at the precipice of rebellion. It really looked like the mullahs might fall. Just one last push — one final outrage — might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Left to their own devices, the mullahs would’ve murdered every last protester. Then, it wouldn’t be a PR problem anymore — it would be a math problem — and if you subtract all the protesters, the rebellion would be over.
Already, thousands of Iranian citizens have died. Some say the death poll is over 20,000; because of the mullahs' media blackout, we don’t really know.
But clearly, Iran was at least partially restrained from slaughtering everyone, because President Trump — with the neocons loudly having his back — was openly contemplating a Tehranian fly-by with U.S. jets. While the Tucker Carlsons of the world were pleading for world peace, neocons like Lindsey Graham were donning their dancing shoes, ready to do the do-si-do on the mullahs' graves.
Their over-the-top rhetoric probably saved tens of thousands of Iranian lives.
Because, one day, the Iranian regime will fall; totalitarian regimes always do. And when it falls, there’s an excellent chance that the victorious rebels will be the same ones who cut their teeth during the 2026 uprising. The events of today won’t be forgotten by the Iranian people.
Which means, they’ll have owed their lives — and their country’s future — to the neocons.
PRedators: I’ll be honest: until relatively recently, I never gave Greenland much thought. It never really occurred to me to care one way or another about it.
Not once had any of my friends ever said to me, “My God! When are we finally gonna do something about Greenland?! Everyone knows we NEED it!”
But apparently, it’s a matter of national importance. So much so, we’re slapping half of Europe with extra tariffs.
Wouldn’t it be easier just to bribe the people of Greenland?
Look, the total population of the island is only 56,000. If we gave everyone in Greenland a million bucks, that would only come to $56 billion.
Elon Musk could bankroll this himself — and still have $720 billion left over!
If Greenland’s seas are actually being overrun by Chinese and Russian warships, then yeah, we have to do something. And everything else being equal, of course it would be nice if Greenland was under American control. Land is an asset — especially a landmass that’s brimming with rare earth resources.
But simply demanding that Greenland be ours is a poor way to win hearts and minds — theirs and ours.
If Greenland is being invaded by foreign warships, show the world the proof. If it’s a matter of national security, explain the stakes. If it benefits the lives of the American people, show us how.
Unless President Trump changes PR tactics, his fixation on Greenland will cost him votes in the midterms: He’ll be blasted for not focusing on the issues that the American people care about, because nobody gives a damn about Greenland!
It’s a political loser.
President Trump: Change your tactics or change your fixation. Please.
Either way, something’s gotta change.
