Personally, I’m outraged. Think of the thousands of hours of highly entertaining YouTube clips and podcasts we’re being deprived!
The set-up was perfect: Tucker Carlson — a.k.a. the Jerry Springer of political pundits — spent over a year carefully crafting the narrative. And now, simply because Lindsey Graham was born with the wrong DNA, it’s all for naught.
If only Lindsey Graham were born Lindsey Goldberg! Oh, the fun we’d be having!
Our world, Tucker Carlson Springer told us, was divided between the “peacemakers” and the “warmongers.” The peacemakers were people like him who opposed Israel, stood proudly with Qatar (plus Russia, Venezuela, and Iran), and were too clever to fall for the Zionists’ propaganda.
The enemies of the “peacemakers” were, quite naturally, the warmongering neocons — who are all either Jews (Boo!) or Christian Zionists infected with a “brain virus.” They’re bloodthirsty, genocidal madmen: No wonder Tucker Springer “despises Christian Zionists more than anyone on earth.”
But let’s be honest, it’s way more fun to attack the Jews than the Christian Zionists. (It gets more social media clicks, too.)
Even Tucker Springer thinks so, and we can tell by the language he uses: Christian Zionists were infected with a “brain virus” — which implies it wasn’t really their fault. Just like the zombie ants, they’ve been attacked by an outside pathogen.
So in a way, the Christian Zionists were actually the victims of you-know-who [taps nose and winks].
But the Jews weren’t infected by anything. This, alas, is their natural state.
This was the Tucker Springer narrative that worked beautifully post-Oct. 7, 2023. Israel was at war — not just with Gaza, but in a proxy battle with Iranian-funded terrorists. And while Israel was fighting, Iran was threatening “Death to America!” and developing nuclear weaponry.
The overwhelming majority of Republicans sided with Israel. (Curse that insidious brain virus!) In Sept. 2025, 66% of Republicans supported Israel’s actions in Gaza. By July 2025, the number jumped to 71%. And then, one month ago, 86.7% of Turning Point USA attendees voted Israel a U.S. ally — with one out of three declaring it America’s “top ally.”
But YouTube’s business model isn’t built on preaching to the choir but on pursuing conflict, controversy, chaos, and clicks. Back in the 1990s, talk radio stations valued audience retention, which led to a semblance of ideological consistency throughout the day. A station’s on-air programming, after all, reflected its values.
And its values attracted sponsors.
Just as a practical matter, if you wanted to be a syndicated talk-radio host, there were far more opportunities — with far more stations — if you promoted a traditionally conservative message. Wackier, fringier voices, such as Alex Jones, were mostly relegated to the after-hour slots, along with Art Bell and George Noory.
But that’s not how it works on YouTube and social media. Here, the Jerry Springer Show model is king: Spectacle and outrage will getcha clicks, baby!
And clicks are how you get paid.
Tucker Springer (along with others, including Candace Owens and, to a lesser extent, Megyn Kelly) leaned all the way into spectacle and outrage, going so far as to platform, promote, and/or popularize literal Nazism. And their #1 target was the warmongering neocon Jews, who kept on tricking stupid America into foreign wars.
They’ve redefined “America First” to mean “Anti-Israel.” (And, weirdly enough, “Pro-Qatar,” but we’ll deal with that philosophical conundrum at another time.)
Why was Israel at war? Not because thousands were attacked and its people kidnapped on Oct. 7 — but because the Jews are attempting genocide!
Why did America bomb Iran? Not because the mullahs were developing nuclear weapons, funding international terrorism, and vowing “Death to America” — but because the Jews tricked Donald Trump into doing Israel's dirty work!
The “trickery” of those rascally Jews became a key feature of his narrative because it allowed Tucker Springer to criticize U.S. actions without directly attacking Trump. (Too many in his audience still support the president, I’m afraid.) So instead of holding Trump accountable, Tucker insists he was “tricked” or “brainwashed” by folks like Benjamin Netanyahu, Mark Levin, Miriam Adelson, Ike Perlmutter, and Ben Shapiro.
You know who [taps nose and winks].
And then Donald Trump had to RUIN EVERYTHING by attacking Venezuela and abducting Maduro! All that anti-Jew prologue was wasted!
Curses and drats, Venezuela is gonna be tough to pin on the Jews.
Of course, they’ll still try:
Venezuela has been “liberated” like Syria, Afghanistan, and Iraq were “liberated”.
— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) January 3, 2026
The CIA has staged another hostile takeover of a country at the behest of a globalist psychopaths.
That’s it. That’s what is happening, always, everywhere. Zionists cheer every regime change.… https://t.co/F60ouK7qAr
Unfortunately, it’s just not that engaging as a conspiracy theory. And the less we say about Tucker Springer’s thesis that Trump attacked Venezuela to support the “globo homos,” the better:
Tucker Carlson believes it’s a “distinct possibility” that the U.S. captured Maduro to *checks notes* “bring gay marriage to Venezuela.”
— Nathan Livingstone (MilkBarTV) (@TheMilkBarTV) January 5, 2026
Yes, he’s serious. pic.twitter.com/TmrrwWYgTH
There was still one last path to pin this on the Jews: Perhaps a Jew whispered in Trump’s ear and influenced his Venezuela decision! (After all, the “brain virus” is an airborne pathogen: You get it from listening to Jews.)
Enter Graham, the hawkish, hard-charging senator from South Carolina. Tough and resolute, Lindsey is a man’s man. (That’s why he never got married: No woman could ever tame him.) The ideological heir to Sen. John McCain, Graham has seldom seen a problem that couldn’t be solved without a few million tons of military hardware.
And, apparently, he was spending time with Donald Trump in the prelude to the Venezuela operation. Tucker Springer apologist Kelly didn’t like that one bit:
But alas, Graham is a member of the Corinth Baptist Church. He’s as Jewish as a plate of bacon.Oh, what could’ve been!
Just imagine what Tucker Springer (and his ilk) would be saying right now if Lindsey Graham were Lindsey Goldberg. Imagine the fascinating conspiracies they’d be peddling! Imagine all the hours of entertainment we’re missing!
For over a year, they were mainstreaming antisemitism, building a very specific narrative, and playing ideological Tetris with current events. Their board was set up beautifully, ready for the final Jew-shaped piece to fall — the one that would prove their point.
But instead, they got a ham hock-shaped piece named Lindsey Graham.
Frankly, I feel cheated. We were so close!
At least we all know who to blame [taps nose and winks].
One Last Thing: 2026 is a critical year for America First: It began with Mayor Zohran Mamdani declaring war on “rugged individualism” and will reach a crescendo with the midterm elections. Nothing less than the fate of the America First movement teeters in the balance.
Never before have the political battlelines been so clearly defined. Win or lose, 2026 will transform our country.
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