It’s called a “squash match.” And it’s one of the secret ingredients that makes the con so effective.
[Spoiler Alert] Pro wrestling isn’t real. It’s a “sport” where buff dudes in their undies pretend to fight each other. Sometimes, they use their real names, but most of the time, they just make a character up. (Usually for marketing purposes: Terry Bollea, an Italian from Tampa, became “Hulk Hogan” to appeal to Irish audiences in the Northeast. Vince McMahon, Sr. even advised him to dye his hair red.) Still, pro wrestling is big business. It’s a multibillion-dollar industry with fans all over the world.
This beckons the obvious question: How does this “sport” get people so emotionally vested in a fake contest between fake characters?
One of the ways is squash matches. It made superstars out of the Road Warriors in the 1980s, the Ultimate Warrior in the 1990s, and Goldberg in the 2000s. And a squash match is exactly what it sounds like: Instead of entertaining audiences with a spirited, tightly-orchestrated give-and-take battle between two talented stuntmen, you feature one dude who looks like a killer — and then you just let him beat the [EXPLETIVE] out of people.
Maybe his opponent gets in one or two moves, but that’s it. The whole point is to dramatically “squash” your opponent. Here’s a 56-second example of Goldberg squashing a really tall guy with weirdly short arms:
Psychologically, it works because it’s so one-sided. When the “hero” doesn’t sell the other guy’s punches, he looks invincible. And then, when he bulldozes everything in his path, you’re kinda convinced that he really could KO Mike Tyson Jake Paul, submit Jon Jones, and/or steal the lunch money from the Green Bay Packers.
When squash matches work, it makes a superstar out of one of the wrestlers — and that’s great. But there’s a downside: It kills the credibility of the guy who gets squashed. In the aforementioned clip, Goldberg looked like a monster, but that tall guy with weirdly short arms?
He became a punchline. And his career never went anywhere.
This takes us to the Democratic Party’s hysterical response to Donald Trump’s speech to the nation. While the president of the United States was explaining his agenda — recognizing courageous cancer survivors and applauding sick children — the Democrats were booing, waving signs, and disrupting the proceedings.
Never mind that Donald Trump won the popular vote. Forget about all the earlier liberal handwringing over “democracy is on the ballot.” In 2024, the American people failed to vote how the Democrats wanted, so the Democrats decided to throw a temper tantrum on national TV.
(Which isn’t a good look for anyone over, say, the age of 4.)
The New York Times just broke a fun little story: “Democrats Voice Regret on Scattered Responses to Trump’s Speech.”
Democratic lawmakers on Sunday expressed disappointment at their party’s uncoordinated response to President Trump’s address to Congress last week, criticizing a colleague who staged a one-man protest during the speech by standing up and repeatedly shouting, “No mandate.”
This colleague, of course, was the Rev. Rep. Al Green (D-Tex.). That was the face the Democratic Party showed Middle America: A crazy old guy with a funny haircut, waiving a cane and screaming incoherently.
Probably not the best way to win hearts and minds.
On Sunday news shows, five Democratic lawmakers, including two progressives, made roundabout criticisms of Mr. Green. They pointed to the backlash his protest generated from both Republican and nonpartisan voters, as well as the media attention it created, which they saw as a distraction to Democrats’ messaging against Mr. Trump’s policies.
“That was a strategic mistake as well as something that just is not appropriate for the decorum of the U.S. House of Representatives,” Representative Tom Suozzi, Democrat of New York, said on CBS. Mr. Suozzi, whose district voted for Mr. Trump in 2024, was one of 10 Democrats who voted with Republicans to formally censure Mr. Green on Thursday. A censure is one of the highest forms of reprimand in the House.
But it was worse than simply rude and childish: It was completely ineffective. Rep. Green was thrown out on his [butt]. Trump no-sold his entire offense.
The Democrats were being obstructionist for the sake of obstruction. That was what they communicated to the American people, and this post-speech spinning won’t change that perception.
Senator Adam Schiff, Democrat of California, said on ABC that Democrats’ “lack of coordinated response” was “a mistake” and that his party should have focused on how the Republican plan to slash government spending may lead to cuts on Medicaid.
“That, to me, is the winning case to make,” he said.
He’s not wrong. Ineffectively flailing your arms at everything makes you look like a noodle-armed jobber. But he’s also being misleading: Even if the Democrats wanted to have a coordinated response, they couldn’t. There’s too much division. As we discussed on Saturday:
We have new polling data to review, and the numbers tell a very clear story: 31% of voters support the Dems cooperating with Trump “when he’s right, but resist when he’s wrong.” And 30% want the Democrats to completely “resist Trump and stop his agenda” — along with another 30% who want the Democrats to work with Trump.
It’s (basically) a third in each category.
The inmates are running the asylum. Until a clear leader emerges on the left, the Democratic Party will continue to be a disorganized, chaotic mess with no one capable of reining in the loons. It’s every man for himself.
When pressed about Mr. Green’s protest, Representative Hakeem Jeffries, Democrat of New York and the House minority leader, on Wednesday said that “the vast majority of Democrats showed restraint, listened to what the president had to say and of course we strongly disagree.”
Restraint? Yeah, tell me another fable, Aesop. I’ve seen piranhas with more restraint.
Representative Ro Khanna of California… told Fox News that Tuesday’s scattered response was “not a good look” for Democrats and the fallout from Mr. Green’s behavior was “a distraction” from Democrats’ economic messaging.
Hold on, lemme consult my Democrat-to-English dictionary. Okay, here we go: When a Democrat calls something “a distraction,” it means the stunt didn’t work.
Yup. That’s what I thought it meant.
One of the reasons it didn’t work was because the Dems looked weak and ineffective. Meanwhile, Donald Trump was mowing ‘em down like Goldberg.
Naturally, Rep. Green didn’t agree with any of his critics:
Mr. Green, who is Black, also put his protest in the context of the civil rights movement.
“I remember what it took to get me in this House — I’m not here because I’m so smart,” he said. “I’m here because people made great sacrifices, and it was incivility, it was disruption.”
That’s one helluva closing sales pitch: “I’m stupid, rude, and disruptive!” (Personally, I think “Make America Great Again” was catchier.) Anyhoo, good luck with that.
Remember, kiddies: When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.
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