The greatest male swimmer was Michael Phelps. The greatest sprinter was Usain Bolt. The greatest wide receiver was Jerry Rice. The greatest alcoholic (*hiccup*) was unquestionably Andre the Giant.
In certain fields, professions, and pastimes, one guy is so ridiculously ahead of the pack, they’re the undeniable GOAT: The “Greatest Of All Time.”
But in other, more subjective fields, the GOAT debate is less clear. “Who’s the greatest?” mostly reflects whatever the evaluator chooses to prioritize. It says more about the speaker than the subject.
For example, who’s the greatest pro wrestler of all time? It’s a “sport” that’s entirely predetermined, so it’s silly to downgrade a wrestler for agreeing to be pinned. But on the other hand, it’s a wrestler’s responsibility to get the crowd to care about him, so the “better” wrestler usually does win a lot: He gets promoted to the main event, wins titles, sells lots of merch, and headlines WrestleMania.
Was Hulk Hogan a better wrestler than, say, Ric Flair? Personally, I thought Flair was more entertaining to watch and had more exciting matches, and that should probably count for something. But without question, Hulk Hogan made way more money and sold far more merch, and that probably matters more.
So now we segue into the world of talk radio: Who’s the GOAT?
I say it’s Rush Limbaugh. His accomplishments were so extraordinary, they border on the outlandish: One man — without a co-host, wack pack, or even call-in guests! — speaking extemporaneously about life, politics, and culture — had the number-one rated show in radio for DECADES at a time. Even years after his death, the format he popularized remains the most mimicked, copied, and parodied anywhere in the media marketplace. You can still see his shadow looming large in radio, podcasts, and conservative media outlets (including this one) that’ve learned how to “illustrate absurdity by being absurd.”
Indeed, one of the enduring legacies of the Rush Revolution is currently in the White House.
But just to play devil’s advocate, there’s another metric that’s also relevant for determining the talk-radio GOAT: Who made the most money?
And that’s not at all an unreasonable metric to consider. You can make a compelling argument that the most important job of any talk-show host is maximizing his take-home pay. This is America: Money talks, baby!
If that’s your top metric, then Howard Stern is the greatest talk-show host who’s ever lived. Nobody else has made more money.
Stern rakes in about $120 million annually. After making millions on terrestrial radio, he’s earned more than $1 billion from SiriusXM. (His other revenue streams include his film, books, videos, and endorsement deals.)
By contrast, when Limbaugh died on February 17, 2021, his net worth was estimated at $600 million. Still a lot of money, but Limbaugh failed to monetize himself as well as Stern.
And it was a deliberate choice, too.
When satellite radio was about to debut, it needed to convince people to pay money to listen to the radio — something they’ve always done for free. It wasn’t an easy sell.
For the multibillion-dollar satellite investment to pay off, the investors needed to find a radio host who was so beloved by his fans, they’d follow him behind a paywall. And really, there were only two men in radio who fit the bill.
Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh.
Stern took the money.
At the time, he was an undeniable A-Lister in Hollywood: Love him or hate him, his fans were beyond loyal; they were pathologically devoted. When Stern did a book signing, it broke every record and had audiences waiting in hourlong lines.
Nobody realized it at the time, but his foray into satellite was a hugely consequential experiment: Stern was the first big celeb to leave the public sphere and retreat behind a paywall. Sirius calculated that Stern’s fans were so loyal, they’d sign up in droves — and then, once they sampled the rest of what satellite radio offered, they’d be subscribers for life.
Stern was their loss-leader.
It was a Faustian bargain for Stern, because you can’t grow an audience from behind a paywall. All you can do is monetize the ones you’ve already got (and hope they don’t leave you). Each year you’re behind a paywall, your relevance and/or luster loses more of its shine.
Essentially, Stern cashed in his celebrity profile for a (very) big bag of money. He was never bigger than the day he joined Sirius on January 9, 2006 — and every minute since then, his profile has steadily declined.
It’s now 2025, and no one under 35 has a clue who he is. Two decades behind a paywall will kill your Q rating.
Rush Limbaugh chose a different path. He chose relevancy over money.
Don’t get me wrong: Rush was still swimming in moolah. Both men accumulated mindboggling quantities of wealth. It wasn’t a choice between being rich and being poor; it was a choice between being filthy rich and being filthier rich. One path required the host to squeeze every last penny from his audience; the other valued loyalty over personal greed. As Limbaugh explained it:
The answer has always been I can’t [move to satellite]. I have 800 radio stations here, as it was testified to in Congress yesterday. I have 800 radio stations here, and I can’t cannibalize them. They’ve made me who I am. They’ve stuck with me for eight and a half years, almost 19 now, and to just abandon them?
Free from terrestrial radio, Stern sought to remake his image, transitioning from a shock jock to a Democratic Party cheerleader. Before, he was constantly battling other stations for ratings; his radio wars were legendary. He’d say anything and do anything — no matter how demented or depraved — to keep his audience.
But satellite radio doesn’t care about ratings. It’s a subscription-based profit model. Finally freed of his audience’s (annoying) whims, Stern made a beeline to the left, “evolving” into an enlightened liberal who loved Hillary Clinton, adored Joe Biden, interviewed Kamala Harris, and wished Trump supporters would “drop dead.”
And the left welcomed him with open arms. Not only was he hobnobbing with the biggest names in the Democratic Party, but the same celebs he used to mock were now inviting him to dinner parties. Best of all, he miraculously escaped #MeToo scrutiny, despite a long, lengthy list of tawdry behavior, including black-face, racism, the N-word (NSFW), and so much more. Arguably, the man in media most deserving of Cancel Culture escaped unscathed.
This “evolution” was a big bummer for Stern’s fans — many of whom followed him to satellite because he promised a raunchier, wilder show. Instead, they ended up with a low-effort infomercial.
Still, it was (nearly) a billion-dollar windfall: The #MeToo movement took off in earnest in 2017. That was eight years ago. Eight times $120 million is $960 million. (Ca-ching!)
Getting booted off the air would’ve been awfully expensive to Stern’s bottom line.
But the decision to move to satellite wasn’t all peaches and dollar signs. It ultimately cost Stern his legacy.
Because, in an alternate timeline, Stern could’ve stayed on terrestrial radio and NOT have alienated his fans. And in 2015, he would’ve been the right man at the right time: Of all the people in the media, Donald Trump loved Howard Stern the most.
Trump is an intensely loyal person, and he considered Stern his personal friend. In turn, Stern attended Trump’s wedding to Melania; they went to Knicks games together. Trump even invited Stern to speak on his behalf at the 2016 Republican National Convention!
Howard Stern spurned him. And then, for the next decade, Stern bashed him whenever he could.
But in our alternative timeline, this version of Howard Stern was also a loyal person. And even when the P.C. police threatened him, he still had his friend’s back. Thus, Trump continued to appear on his show.
The Howard Sterm Show would’ve been appointment viewing for all four years of Trump’s first term!
Of course, that would’ve made Stern a target. He might’ve even lost his perch on Sirius. But because his audience still cared about him, they would’ve followed him wherever he moved to next — just like they followed him to satellite.
And in turn, he would’ve been the one broadcaster who Donald Trump knew, respected, and trusted to break big news stories!
Even after Trump won in 2016, we failed to realize how utterly — and preposterously — unique he was. Without an iota of hyperbole, he’s the most famous man on the planet and one of the most consequential humans in history. Whatever he says or does is frontpage news.
And when Trump prevailed in 2024, everyone in his orbit was further elevated. Podcasters like Joe Rogan have become so popular and influential, the Democrats are pleading for one of their own!
Yet I don’t hear ANY Republicans saying, “Gosh, we sure need our own Howard Stern.” That’s the telltale sign of irrelevance.
Imagine having an “in” with the most important man on the planet… and throwing it all away, just to get a little bit richer.
It’s sad.
Before, Stern had millions of dollars and millions of fans. Had he taken a different path, he would’ve gone down in history as the undisputed GOAT of talk radio — the most consequential newsman of his medium and our window to the enigmatic Donald Trump.
And now he’s so poor and so irrelevant, all he has is money.
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