Towards the end of Mike Tyson’s three-year prison sentence for sexual assault, famed sportswriter Ed Schuyler quipped, “I’d rather be Tyson’s first opponent after he gets out than his first date.”
Schuyler had a point: Sometimes, it’s bad to be the leadoff batter.
Nine times out of ten, going first is the better deal. Like, if you’re in a college apartment with five other slobs and everyone’s sharing the same bathroom, you DO NOT want to use the bathroom last! (Especially the morning after a night of binge-drinking Natty Light and gorging on 7-Eleven chili nachos.)
“Oh, the humanity!”
But someone has to go first. In boxing, it was Peter McNeeley, who lasted a total of 89 seconds against Mike Tyson. (Thank goodness McNeeley never fought a real beast — like Jake Paul, eh?)
And in global politics, it will be Hamas who goes first: Before the end of January, Donald Trump is gonna kick their Hamass.
Hamas is the new Peter McNeeley.
Following four years of Biden’s complete and utter ineptitude, America’s foreign policy is in tatters. The whole world is on fire: There’s a hot war in Europe; nuclear saber-rattling; chaos in the Holy Land; the disastrous Afghanistan withdrawal; Syria collapsing; China bullying its neighbors; and just today, South Korea was on the brink of a coup.
Donald Trump will need to reestablish American deterrence ASAP. It’s job #1.
Fortunately, he knows how to do it.
Think back to the early days of Trump’s first term: When the outgoing Obama administration insisted that nothing could be done about ISIS, Trump redirected the U.S. military to wipe those terrorist P.O.S. off the face of the Earth.
What Obama claimed was hopeless, Trump solved in just a few months with his ingenious strategy: He killed ‘em all.
(Turns out, dead people can’t fight anymore. Weird, eh? Who knew!)
Prediction: Immediately following his inauguration, watch for Trump to double-down on his deterrence doctrine by blasting Hamas to smithereens.
What worked with ISIS will work with Hamas.
It’s in Trump’s nature to be opportunistic and strategic, pursuing the most cost-effective means to reestablish deterrence in the shortest amount of time. It’s his bedrock principle for everything else — and on the heels of Biden’s flaccidness, it’s crucial for America’s resurgence.
Trump’s foreign policy agenda is ambitious: End the war in Ukraine, rescue American hostages in Gaza, prevent a nuclear holocaust, renegotiate with Mexico and Canada, hit China was gazillion new tariffs, kneecap Iran, sign new trade deals, and bring peace to the Middle East.
That’s… a lot.
So, think pragmatically: What would be the smartest, most cost-effective way to communicate to the whole world that America is now deadly serious — and to screw with us at your own peril?
Why, it would be to find a weak, isolated target like Hamas, and to loudly and vocally demand the release of American hostages.
And then, when Hamas doesn’t comply, you’d unleash the unholy hounds of war, slaughtering the holdouts, reducing them to rubble.
It would prove to the world that you mean what you say — that unlike the Biden years, there are grave consequences to pissing you off. This “implied threat” would give you an edge at the negotiating table: Whether it’s the Russians, the Mexicans, the Iranian, or anyone else, there’s a risk to screwing over Trump that there never was with Biden.
(Biden’s delusions notwithstanding.)
Trump didn’t campaign to be a wartime president. The ferocity of his language belies the heart of a pacifist; there’s a reason why neocons like Dick and Liz Cheney despise him so much. But sometimes, you gotta break a few eggs before you can eat your omelet. “Peace through strength” only works when people think you’re strong.
Which is why Hamas will be scrambled by the end of January.
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