Tim Walz Was the Perfect White Guy for Kamala Harris

AP Photo, File

Kamala Harris whittled her VP selection down to three brave finalists: Sen. Mark Kelly (D-Ariz.), Gov. Josh Shapiro (D-Pa.), and Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn.). Okay, it ain’t exactly the ’27 Yankees or the ’85 Bears, but someone’s gotta play second banana to Joe Biden’s second banana (which, if my math is correct, means that Walz is now Biden’s third banana).

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Out of this unholy trinity, Kelly scared Republicans the most because his resume is literally out of this world (since he's an astronaut and all). His inclusion on the ticket likely would’ve kept Arizona blue, and the backstory of his wife’s tragic shooting and how he stayed by her side was appealing to mainstream voters. He was such a strong, obvious choice that we can only assume something grotesque and/or depraved was uncovered during the vetting process. (Dead hooker in the trunk? Affairs with interns? “Booger Sugar” with Hunter Biden? Or maybe — gasp! — using the wrong pronoun? Inquiring minds want to know!)

After Kelly, Shapiro was next on the GOP’s fear list. He’s popular, a powerful speaker, and would’ve been enormously helpful in the must-win state of Pennsylvania. Still in his early 50s, Shapiro would’ve moderated the ticket and helped deflect criticisms of the Biden-Harris record on Israel. But alas, Josh Shapiro is also a Jew, and that makes him a political pariah to the Hamas fanboys in the Democratic Party. (Oy veh!) Yes, Shapiro might’ve helped retain Pennsylvania, but Harris couldn’t risk the blowback from the blowhards.

Walz was the man whom Republicans feared the least because he doesn’t have a dynamic personality, he won’t activate any key voting blocs (i.e., African American, Asian, Latino), and he would have the least amount of overall electoral influence. Additionally, his abysmal management during the Black Lives Matter riots is tailor-made for GOP attacks. George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis, and Walz’s state was ground zero for the BLM movement. 

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Rioters looted, torched, burglarized, and disrupted the Twin Cities with 1,500 properties damaged, 164 incidents of arson, and multiple deaths. Walz squandered his opportunity to lead, opting instead to spout liberal platitudes, playing his fiddle like he was starring in a Netflix biopic of Nero. Given his history, should protesters ever pounce on D.C., a Walz administration would shrug its shoulders and let the capital burn to ash.

From an outsider’s perspective, pairing an inept, far-left Minnesota governor with a farther-left San Francisco liberal isn’t the best way to entice Middle America. It’s an oddball combination. And if your litmus test is the electoral map, Walz was a calorie-free addition. Still, out of all the white guys in our entire country, Tim Walz was her man.

But why? To answer that question, you need to put yourself in Kamala’s heels: Which of her (many) weaknesses was she hoping to buttress?

The demographic angle is just one part of it, but the fact that she completely sidestepped Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich.), refusing to seriously consider her candidacy, is quite revealing. In her mind, with two women on the ticket, the “specialness” of Harris’s ascension might lose its luster. 

Can’t have that!

Additionally, the decision to snub Whitmer connects with her decision to bypass Kelly and Shapiro — and the real reason why she picked Walz: Kelly, Shapiro, and Whitmer were already capable of generating media coverage on their own. Should Harris elevate one of them veep, their profiles would grow exponentially. 

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And Kamala is deathly afraid of being overshadowed.

When you step back and think about it, you understand why this is such a sensitive topic for her. She never really “won” the presidential nomination. She didn’t roll up her sleeves and win the primaries. Nobody voted for her — the party handed her the top of the ticket on a silver platter. Plus, she had no real accomplishments as VP (or as a senator, for that matter) that are worthy of the White House. She’s the single greatest example of meritless advancement in American political history.

This wasn’t a nomination — this was a coronation. The coronation of Queen Kamala.

So she picked the best man possible to fulfill her specific goals: Someone who’s white — but not the wrong kind of white (i.e. Shapiro). Someone who’s old enough (60) to be perceived as experienced, but not too old. And more importantly, not too young either, because a younger, exciting (or female) candidate would threaten Harris’s spotlight. 

The Minnesota governor checked all the boxes that she cared about.

If your goal is to keep the attention solely on you, Walz was the perfect pick. He’s smackdab in the sweet spot of being just credible enough not to be a distraction but not compelling enough to dare steal her spotlight. He’s sharp enough to attack Trump but not sharp enough to ever threaten Kamala.

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It’s a window to her self-perception and insecurities.

Republicans might be sighing in relief because Walz was the pick, but oddly enough, so is Harris.

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