Mirror, Mirror on The Wall: Who Is the Prettiest Politician of Them All?

(I bet some of you regulars thought I was about to write about Marco Rubio. That's not what this is about.)

Somehow, this story slipped through the cracks a bit when the Free Beacon came out with it in July, but it's making the rounds this week. I know our own Scott Pinsker mentioned it in passing a few days ago, but I felt it deserved its own standalone article.

Because, as a Georgia resident, I'll do anything I can to ensure this person is not my senator anymore.

So if you had to guess, which prominent political candidate (at the federal level) spends the most on hair and makeup?

Maybe it's Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.)? She might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but she's a pretty girl who looks put together most of the time. Or maybe it's Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-Fla.)? Another lovely lady who obviously puts a lot of effort into her appearance.

Well, if you guessed it was either of them, you're wrong. If you guessed it was any woman at all, you're wrong.

The answer is Sen. Jon "Pee-wee Herman" Ossoff (D-Ga.).

According to campaign finance records, Ossoff has paid "makeup artist Stephanie Ponder $2,887 for 'makeup services'" since February. The Free Beacon reports that the most recent payment came in June to the tune of $900. Here's more:

Ossoff's four-figure makeup expenditures stand out among federal candidates. The Georgia senator who is running for reelection against Republican Rep. Mike Collins (Ga.), has reported spending more on makeup than any other candidate this year, beating out the likes of far-left Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D., N.Y.) and Rashida Tlaib (D., Mich.). Ocasio-Cortez has spent $1,837.93 on 'campaign event hair & makeup services' in 2026, while Tlaib has spent $320 on 'hair and makeup services.'
The spending also comes as liberal media figures praise the 39-year-old Ossoff's carefully managed on-camera presence and float him as a prospective 2028 presidential candidate.

He's not only paying big bucks for hair and makeup, but he's also paying them to a high-profile artist. Ponder has a resume that includes working on The Notebook, Hunger Games, and Remember the Titans.

The article also mentions that, "A recent Puck profile asserted that Ossoff 'has seemingly reinvented himself' in anticipation of a 2028 presidential bid, adding a 'beefier physique to his studied, Obama-like cadence.'"

And the media is falling for it, of course. Ezra Klein of the New York Times has pointed out that Ossoff knows how to make himself appear imposing and powerful on TV (I invite Mr. Klein to come to Atlanta and watch these campaign commercials that are in my face constantly because that's not what I see — I see a weasel).

Vogue did an article on his "internet thirst" and called him "an attractive camp counselor."

Queerty reported that "Jon Ossoff & his slutty little glasses are already our summertime political crush" and called him "an attractive version of Atticus Finch."

All I can say is gag me with a spoon. You can't see me, but I'm trying not to throw up as I write this. The idea of a man who spends more on hair and makeup than I do — and I love expensive makeup, I must confess — is just gross. I'm gonna need a real man to represent my state, not this clown.

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