Colombia has always been a conservative, right-leaning country, but in 2022, it elected the former guerilla turned socialist wacko Gustavo Petro. It hasn't had a good time ever since, whether it's been economic struggles or the fact that el presidente has attempted to curb violence in the country by sharing hugs and popsicles and rainbows with terrorist groups through his "total piece" plan.
When he's not doing any of that, he's usually on social media talking about how well he can please a woman or how great he is at writing erotic poetry. Occasionally, he throws in some anti-United States, anti-Israel, or anti-Donald Trump diatribe about imperialism. When he's not on social media, he's giving erratic speeches and chaotic interviews, or visiting the United States, where he likes to make a fool of himself. He's been in our country three times over the past six months.
The first time, he stood outside the UN on the streets of New York with Roger Waters and called for the U.S. military to rise up against Donald Trump. The State Department threatened to take away his visa, though it's not clear now whether it ever did. The second time was earlier this year when he reluctantly called Donald Trump up for an in-person meeting after he saw what Trump did to Petro's pal, Nicolás Maduro. Trump made him use the back door. The third time was this past Friday when he spoke at Jesse Jackson's funeral, and by spoke, I mean carried on so long that he had to be shuffled off the stage.
There are rumors that he like to partake in his country's main export and that's why he acts like such a clown, but I can neither confirm nor deny that. The good thing is that he'll be gone this summer.
So, on Sunday, March 8, Colombians went to the polls for what was supposed to be a referendum on Petro's presidency. They voted for their legislature, and they voted in coalition primaries to determine who their presidential nominees would be for that election, which is on May 31. Petro's left-wing Pacto Histórico party actually picked up some legislative seats, but don't let the MSM headlines fool you. This wasn't the big win they're making it out to be.
First of all, there was an extremely low voter turnout. Of the country's 41.2 million voters, over half of them didn't even bother to show up. Second of all, while Petro's party gained some seats, so did other parties, which left the legislature pretty fragmented. That means that Petro and Pacto Histórico don't have the majority required to pass any major laws or make constitutional changes during his final months in office unless they can form some across-the-aisle coalitions.
The primaries were even more promising. The right, left, and center voting blocs all chose their candidates for the upcoming presidential elections. These aren't mandatory like they are in the U.S.; they just allow parties and movements to unify behind one single candidate.
For the right, Paloma Valencia won in a landslide. Of the 5 to 6 million people who voted in these primaries, 3.2 million voted for her. She's a senator and close ally of President Alvaro Uribe. Former Bogotá mayor Claudia López won the centrist bloc. Roy Barreras won among leftist voters, but he only received 300,000 votes.
This is where it gets a tad confusing: other people running for president who didn't take part in these primaries can still participate in the elections. As a matter of fact, two of the people who didn't are still considered frontrunners: Abelardo de la Espriella, aka El Tigre, a right-wing favorite who I've received many emails about from some of you in recent months, and Iván Cepeda, Petro's preferred, hand-picked successor, who will likely continue his policies. No one wants that.
Valencia's decisive win feels like a mandate for the right. Even better, El Tigre has come out and said that if he or Valencia end up in a runoff in June — which is possible because a candidate needs to cross 50% of the vote to avoid a runoff, and the right is split — their supporters should rally around whoever it is to ensure they reclaim their country from the paws of socialism. A runoff would likely pit Cepeda against Valencia or El Tigre. But a lot can change in three months.
Key issues driving Colombian voters to the polls are, like in most of the region, crime and economics. Colombia has reached record cocaine production, and terrorist groups like the ELN and Clan del Golfo largely run around with impunity. Violence is on the rise, especially in rural areas, and national security has deteriorated overall. Economically, inflation is high and unemployment hovers around 10.9%. In addition to crime and the economy, a lot voters just want anyone but Petro because he's become an international laughingstock, his policies have largely failed, and he's been involved in various corruption scandals.
We'll see what happens in May, but in the meantime, let's pray that Colombia finally gets a decent leader and the U.S. gains another anti-crime partner after this four-year horror show that been Gustavo Petro.
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