Yes, I know that this is my third Meghan Markle article in less than two weeks, but she's the gift that keeps on giving. This woman is so self-absorbed that everything she touches turns into a disaster. As Megyn Kelly said, the best thing our dear American Duchess of Nothing could do for herself is disappear for five years, stay off camera, stop "reinventing" herself, and make people forget she exists for a while, so we can "fall out of hate."
But she won't because, more than anything, Megs loves her some her. And she's going to make herself famous if it's the last thing she does.
She's succeeding, but for all the wrong reasons. For example, when she first married Harry, many of us were excited about it, especially girls of her generation who grew up longing to marry a young British prince ourselves. An American girl was living our childhood dreams and infiltrating the Royal Family. But rather than embrace it and use the moment to elevate herself into a respected humanitarian loved by all the world that she seemed intent on becoming, Meghan hopped on the first plane out of there, cried to Oprah about "racism," and mocked the queen in a documentary.
So she and Harry moved back to the United States, claiming they wanted to live a more private life, but all they've done since is put themselves out there, showing up at school shootings, creating pretentious Netflix shows, and writing tell-all books about their families.
And now, Meghan, who is trying to position herself as the next Martha Stewart, is failing at that as well.
Meghan Markle is so gifted in Jam making that she doesn’t even need to hold the jam jar lifting tongs the right way up. Martha Stewart, eat ya heart out ya amateur! pic.twitter.com/pRgd9fQ9pu
— 🎩Laird of the Manor🎩 (@LairdOfTheManor) October 8, 2025
The thing about reinventing yourself is that you have to actually master something first. But Meghan doesn't do that. She banks on her worthless royal title and connection to one of the most famous — yet disappointing — men in the world to get her somewhere. There's no substance, no skill, and certainly no authenticity, and that's why everything she touches turns into a photograph of her holding tongs upside down. Or, a wickless candle.
In case you missed this week's Meghan Mishap, influencer Link Lauren decided to order some of the products from the Duchess of Nothing's new brand, As Ever, including jams, dried flowers, and a scented candle. Lauren is admittedly not a Meghan fan, so I can't speak to any bias he may have held when trying the jams — he said they literally made him sick — but there was no denying that there was a problem with at least one of the items.
When he pulled the candle — the $64 candle at that — out of the box, he discovered that it had no wick. It was basically just a jar of wax.
"I actually feel sick...that's really not good."@itslinklauren tests Meghan Markle's "As Ever" products including the fruit spread trio and her "signature" candle and it's worse than you think...
— Spot On with Link Lauren (@spotonwithlink) November 11, 2025
Watch the full product test: https://t.co/NBUPSoX079 pic.twitter.com/HoJy3pH0om
Behind the scenes, when I told my colleagues I'd be writing about Meghan's "wickless candle," the jokes wrote themselves. One even asked if "Meghan Markle's wickless candle" was a euphemism for Harry. Touché.
But the fact is that the candle feels like a symbol for Meghan in general: hyped up, wrapped in a pretty package, and costs a lot of money, but once you open it up, it doesn't work. There's no light. There's nothing real inside.
And the candle scandal isn't the only headline Meghan made this week. Over the weekend, she and her hubby, Harry, managed to tick off the entire British Commonwealth when they showed up at Kardashian mom Kris Jenner's star-studded, James Bond-themed 70th birthday party. The party took place at Jeff Bezos' Beverly Hills mansion, and the cops were supposedly called multiple times due to all the hoopla.
The problem? The United Kingdom was celebrating Remembrance Day with various events and ceremonies. While Meghan and Harry were making a spectacle of themselves, inserting themselves into the gaudiest tier of the celebrity culture industrial complex, their counterparts, Prince William and Kate Middleton, were laying wreaths and attending services to honor veterans. It wasn't a good look.
After the event, Jenner and her daughter, Kim Kardashian, posted pictures of the party online, including some awkward ones of Meghan and Harry. But fans noticed that shortly after, the posts were edited, and Meghan and Harry were suddenly nowhere to be found.
The most likely reason is that someone on Meghan and Harry's PR team —assuming they have one; their communications director just quit after a few months on the job, but then again, their staff always quits after a few months on the job — reached out to the Kardashian fam and had them take them down, perhaps, due to the backlash they received for their poor timing. But as our colleagues at Twitchy like to say, the internet is forever. Those pictures are everywhere. The damage is done.
People magazine reports that some sources say that the duo opted out of a consent form allowing their pictures to be made public, but other sources say there were no consent forms. Who knows what's true beyond the fact that this gal is way too obsessed with controlling her image. Meghan, if you want people to like you, just live your life. Be yourself, assuming you still know who that is. Or maybe this is who you are. I mean, even your own father says you've never been authentic.
Wise words of advice from Megyn Kelly and Piers Morgan to Harry and Meghan Markle
— 𝓜𝓾𝓻𝓴𝔂 𝓜𝓮𝓰 (@MurkyMegPodcast) November 12, 2025
I wholeheartedly agree
Go away for a very long time and STOP making cringe worthy videos pic.twitter.com/F3oygifVTJ
