Whenever I write an article about Meghan Markle, some people chime in and say, "Who cares?" So those of you who truly don't care may want to sit this one out because every time I write an article about Meghan Markle, it ends up being one of the most popular articles on the site. I'm guessing many more of you are like me, and you hate that you care, but you do care for some reason.
In my case, I grew up in the same generation as William and Harry, and I'll probably always be fascinated, train wreck or not. But I digress.
Last week, Harry's missus, Meghan Markle, American Duchess of Nothing, debuted her new Netflix lifestyle show, "With Love, Meghan," and the reviews were not flattering. Even some of Harry and Meghan's media allies had less than great things to say about it. Here's a look at some of the responses.
Vulture says that the show "Pioneers New Frontiers in Unrelatability." Slate points out that "Meghan Markle’s New Netflix Show Has Been Savaged. It’s Even Worse Here in Britain," and the Daily Beast writes, "I Watched Meghan Markle’s New Netflix Show and Now I Need a Lobotomy." Vogue calls the show "Up Close But Not Quite Personal with Meghan Markle," And my favorite from the San Francisco Chronicle: "‘With Love, Meghan’ on Netflix has all the entertainment value of a hostage video."
Megyn Kelly points out just how insecure Meghan is, as well as how pretentious she comes across in the show. Okay, she unleashed on the show. (Warning: NSFW language)
Content creator Kai Cameron has some hilarious parodies on Instagram:
Sky News Australia calls it a "hard watch," "cringe," and an "exercise in narcissism."
You get the idea. I've been critical of Markle here in the past, and I really didn't plan to watch the show. But the headlines actually worked to her advantage because they piqued my interest. And a friend of mine watched the first few episodes last week and told me they're even worse than the headlines lead you to believe. Finally, my friend and editor here, Chris Queen, suggested I watch and write an article about it, so I finally gave in and took one for the team. Here's my honest assessment of "With Love, Meghan."
The concept for each episode is that Meghan is having a "friend" over, and she wants to do something nice for her, and then they cook something farm-to-table-ish together or make some kind of craft-ish thing and then have a dinner or brunch or party or something. I suppose it's meant to show off her talents as a host, cook, and gardener.
But here's what you actually see: First of all, Meghan doesn't appear to have much more talent than you or I do in any of these areas. It's been mocked online, but there is literally a segment in which she takes pretzels out of a container from the grocery store, puts them in a plastic baggie, and writes "pretzels" on them as if this is some kind of helpful hint.
There are a few things she cooks that I thought looked good and would like to try, but she rarely fully tells you how to do it. Instead, she babbles about one of her favorite topics: herself.
Meghan is from California. Meghan loves to cook for and host other people and enjoys the "community" part of it all. Meghan likes jam. Did I mention that she's from California and likes jam? And she enjoys the community aspect of cooking and eating? Oh, and she likes jam. And she's just a girl from California.
There are a few other topics like this that she runs into the ground throughout the episodes — like how her middle school science teacher taught her how to compost — but you never actually get beyond the surface of who Meghan is, either through her words or her actions. And she never actually teaches anyone how to compost.
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She plays up these big friendships with the other guests, but when those guests finally appear on camera, you get the idea, with a few exceptions, that the friendships are largely superficial or not quite what Meghan makes them out to be. For example, when she doesn't know her best buddy and makeup artist is left-handed, or when she has to explain to writer and actress Mindy Kaling that her last name is not Markle, it's Sussex. Oh yeah, there's that.
Kaling says something about "Meghan Markle" eating Jack-in-the-Box — because I always call my best friends by their full names — and Meghan, Duchess of Nothing, gets a little hoity and calls her out. "It's so funny, too, that you keep saying 'Markle.' You know I'm Sussex now," she says, adding, "You have kids, and you go, no, I share my name with my children," and launching into a word salad about names that would make Kamala cringe.
The look on Kaling's face is priceless. It's just an incredibly awkward moment that I'm surprised they left in the show. Also, it's sparked a huge online debate because Meghan's husband's and kids' names are actually Mountbatten-Windsor, though it's not unusual for a working member of the British Royal Family to use the title as a last name. And since the credits for the show pen her as Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, well, it looks like she thinks she's still a working member of the British Royal Family. But she's not and never wanted to be, or so she's said, so I'm a bit puzzled by all of that. You can't have it both ways, sister.
The other thing that bothers me is the way she dresses on the show. And I'm not talking about how she frolics around in the garden and the kitchen in white and beige while making jam and frying up bacon. Maybe it's just me, but if I wore white and beige while cooking, I'd be covered in fruit and grease stains within 10 minutes. And I'm not talking about how she cooks with a cashmere sweater draped over her shoulders, either. Don't we all?
I'm talking about the fact that she pitched a big fit about how she had to wear neutrals when she was a working member of the British Royal Family because she couldn't dress in the same colors as the queen and other senior members, and with very few exceptions, all she does is wear neutral colors throughout the entire show. It's just kind of depressing. She's a beautiful woman who can pull off just about anything, but she dresses like some sort of boring Stepford wife. I wanted to scream through the TV, "Wear something red or green or blue!"
Anyway, as Kelly said above and others have said over the last week, ultimately, you just get the feeling that Meghan Markle Sussex is incredibly insecure. Everything has to be just-so and scripted, and when she does dare venture off script or kind of relaxes and says something offhand, she looks at the camera crew as if seeking approval. It's sad, really.
As I said, Meghan and Harry are of my generation, and every once in a while, I see little glimpses of her being just like any other girl I might have grown up with — the little jokes and pop culture references and manner of speaking. I see a personality in there, one I could even like, but for some reason, she won't let it shine. And I know I'm always hard on her, but it actually almost made me feel bad for her. Almost.
Overall, the whole show lacks authenticity. The set, which is beautiful, is not even Meghan's actual home and garden where she supposedly cooks and grows this and that and and makes crudités every day for the kids — yes, she says that many times. Meghan's own estranged father, Thomas Markle, who played a huge role in raising her but was dropped from her orbit when she married Harry, even calls her out for putting on airs and being dishonest.
"Unfortunately, Meghan has never been authentic. She has to think about everything. She’s not spontaneous," he told the Daily Mail. "Everything she says is pre-planned and rehearsed. It makes me laugh because I know all her looks and expressions." He also pointed out that Meghan called herself a "latch-key kid" throughout the show and said she often spent her nights dining alone on fast food and TV dinners, but Mr. Markle says that he often had a car pick Meghan up after school and bring her to the TV sets where he worked as a lighting director and they'd go to restaurants or order takeout most nights.
Anyway, I did make it through all ten episodes, and I will admit that there were three that I actually somewhat enjoyed. But in the end, I realized those were the three in which the guests kind of led the show, and Meghan, for the most part, was just there to learn. One featured Korean-American chef Roy Choi who made some delicious-looking Korean food, and I learned a lot about what goes into that.
Another featured Vicky Tsai, founder of my favorite skincare company, Tatcha. They cooked a recipe from Tsai's childhood and shared more about why she started Tatcha, which I really enjoyed. Another one featured chef Alice Waters, whom I enjoyed hearing talk about food, even though I'm not a huge fan of her politics.
If she and Netflix want to keep this nonsense up (and they are — despite reviews and low rankings, there's a second season in the works — I guess Netflix has to make its money back off the Duke and Duchess of New Media Grift somehow), I'd aim for more of that. Don't make Meghan the star of the show. Put her in the background and bring on guests with real talent and charisma. Teach us about their lives and what they do while Meghan observes and hands them spoons and stuff.
But I have a feeling the second season will just be more of the same, so here's my advice for Mrs. Sussex: Be real. Just be real! Be you. It's all you have to do, and maybe you can turn all of these scathing headlines around.
Cook in your own kitchen. If you're truly a master gardener, show yourself getting dirty planting, weeding, watering, and harvesting. (I spent half the weekend in my own gardening and practically had to scrape the dirt off my hands and feet.) Show us how to compost; don't just tell us you learned how to do it.
Bring in your real friends, not just the ones who look good on TV. Bring in your husband and kids. Show how Lili likes to help you bake cookies or how Archie likes to catch fish. Ditch the sweater draped over your shoulders and throw on some jeans or leggings and an old t-shirt. Tell us who you really are, not who you perceive yourself to be.
And for the love of God, just make one dish that doesn't require dried flower sprinkles.
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