I've done a lot of sales and marketing writing throughout my freelance career, though I'd hardly call myself an expert. Even so, I don't think it takes an expert to realize that you can keep rebranding something over and over again, but if you get the same result, the problem is with the product, not the way you're selling it.
Over the last six or seven years, Meghan Markle's attempts at selling anything substantial have failed almost every time. Her fake podcasting career was short-lived. With the exception of a "documentary" designed to mock her husband's family, the one that most people seemingly only viewed to hate-watch, she has yet to make much of anything out of her huge Netflix contract. And in 2024, she launched a "lifestyle brand" with the pretentious "American Riviera Orchard" name. As best I can tell, the only thing that ever came from it was that she sent some strawberry jams to celebrities.
On Monday, our dear American Duchess of Nothing, took to Instagram to announce that she is rebranding yet again. This time, she's changing the name of "American Riviera Orchard" to "As Ever" because... well, I don't know why exactly. She mostly just talked about herself in the explanation and said something about how she "secured" the name back in 2022. Hmmm, isn't that back when they just wanted privacy?
"'As Ever' essentially means 'as it always been,'" she says with a giggle, adding, "And if you followed me since 2014... you know I've always loved cooking and craft and gardening. This is what I do. And I haven't been able to share it with you in the same way for the past few years, but now I can... Of course, there will be fruit preserves. I think we're all clear at this point that jam is my jam. But there are so many more products that I just love that I use in my home, and it's now it's time to share it with you."
And I think that's the problem. It's still not exactly clear what kind of products Megs will sell at this point — besides jam, apparently — and that's because ultimately, no matter what she does, her product ends up being herself. Meghan thinks she's likable and talented enough to become some sort of big media personality based on her Meghan Markle-ness alone. She keeps throwing new ideas against the wall and hoping they stick. At the moment, she fancies herself the next Martha Stewart, but all she'll ever be to most people is the next Wallis Simpson.
She could have prevented that. At one time, she was the woman who we were all rooting for. The beautiful American girl who was accepted into the Royal family, who would marry one of Diana's handsome sons and become anything she wanted to be, which, at the time, appeared to be some sort of great humanitarian. Instead, she threw it all away because what Meghan Markle believes in the most is her own greatness.
In the meantime, she's proven herself to be incredibly unlikable. She comes across as inauthentic and pretentious. She uses people, or so it seems, from her ex-husband to her own father to some of her best friends. And when they're no longer of use to her, she casts them aside. She is reportedly abusive to the people who work for her, both when she was a royal and now in the business world. Her attempts at being a humanitarian are superficial and only seem to happen if there's a camera crew nearby.
This rebranding is allegedly meant to match up with her new Netflix show, "With Love, Meghan," which is set to air in March. The show has been described as "tone deaf" at a time when Americans are struggling to simply buy groceries. The trailer features her frolicking around like some bored rich housewife, arranging flowers and baking cakes with celebrity "friends," while she talks about her favorite topic: herself.
"The [Duke and Duchess of Sussex], who were going to change lives for the better, influence world opinion and leaders, improve the environment and declared their life of service with their 'service is universal' statement…it’s reduced to flogging jam," Royal expert Hilary Fordwich told Fox News Digital. "Quite a comedown… with Netflix making a last-ditch attempt," she added.
And the new brand is already potentially under fire. Politicians in the Spanish town of Porreres, which is located in Mallorca, have noted that "As Ever's" new logo, which features two birds facing a palm tree, bears a striking resemblance to the town's coat of arms. "I don't know if she visited some agritourism sites and saw the coat of arms, because the photo on her website is taken from Mallorca," the town's mayor, Francisca Mora, told the local newspaper. She added that they're considering taking legal action.
At this point, I'm just wondering how many more brand names Markle will go through until Netflix and other companies stop bankrolling this woman and her useless husband. And then what? Do she and Harry get real jobs or go crawling back to his family?
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