Anna Nicole Judge Unites America in Loathing

Was there ever a single character since that girl in the first season of the Trump reality show (or maybe Richard on the first season of Survivor) who succeeded in uniting America in loathing more than the ringmaster “judge” of the reality show that is the Anna Nicole Smith Florida court hearing.


I can’t believe I’m hooked into watching the live coverage (on Court tv) of this idiot spectacle, but it’s a trainwreck that somehow is the tragic birthright of all Americans. it’s our payoff for the secret hatred of celebrities that lies beneath the preoccupation with celebrity.

As for the judge with his phony out-of-town Ed Koch New Yawk parody act, at the risk of “cyber-disinhibition”; what a lame self aggrandizing clown! What a smug, small-time idea of being a “character” he thinks he is. One of those painfully unfunny people who think they’re a riot. He’s guaranteed a spot on the Loser/Freak Island of Reality Shows,The Surreal life already.

America, please! Don’t take this slobbering jerk pifully flogging his 15 minutes as a typical New Yorker, or even a typical New York cabby he claims to have once been.

What a sad, self-regarding parody of a “down to earth” guy he is, with his stupid pseudo-“philosophical” remarks: “Oh I’m gonna get in trouble with my wife for this” after some pathetic reflections on in vitro fertilization. Or: “This is life. We all come with some broken suitcases.” Or the biggest fraud of them all: “I’m not lookin’ for any compliments.”


He’s not down to earth, but he is dumb as dirt when it comes to self- awareness.

I find this profoundly re assuring in a way. Because I can almost feel my fellow Americans turning against this pitiful celeb-intoxicated doofuss. A living breathing symbol–much like Anna Nicole–of all the deeply deforming effects of celebrity on what might once have been a human being. Now he’s become like Anna Nicole, only ugly.

Whitman said “I hear America singing.” Today, I can feel America sneering.


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