Ron Rosenbaum

Live-Blogging the Superbowl Ads (2)

Getting close to game time. Bring it, Madison Avenue, kick off the creativity.

7:25 An entire quarter has gone by and the only thing that can be said for sure is that ALL, and I mean all of the Budweiser ads have been moronic. The last one–dirt spotted dog–had the theme song “Ain’t that a kick in the head?” Someone at Budweiser acts like they’ve been kicked in the head.

Meanwhile the game itself, is turning out to be kind of gripping, or grip- slipping with the rain making it a contest of more than football skills, but grit and determination. I’m liking it even though my bet on Indy minus seven isn’t looking good.

7:37 A theme is emerging for the ads: stupid beatings. Another dimwit Bud Light ad shows guys slapping each other. Hilarious! And the point is? Followed by a “heart” figure being badly beaten up by thugs labeled “high blood pressure” and “high cholesterol”, a clumsy shill for some prescription drug. Then there was the earlier one of giant robots bitch-slapping each other to pieces. (Can’t even remember for whom). Has the entire ad world gone slap happy?

8:48 More idiotic, garbagy, head-bashing combat, this time from Careerbuilder.com. Total waste of time and money. But it makes me wonder: have all the ad men in America suffered from the same type of brain injury? One that caused them to regress to childish images of third grade playground violence.

Meanwhile I’m one field goal away from beating the spread, and coming out ahead for the playoffs!

9:01 More stupid violence themes from Bud Light: axe and chainsaw equipped hitchhiker. Ha! ha!. Really clever, guys. See the guy wants his Bud Light so bad he’s willing to see his girlfriend hacked or chopped up. Funny! (believe me I have no special animus against violence; I’m a Tarantino fan. I just can’t stand stupidity).

Surprise: I kinda liked the Kevin Federline, limo-to-fry-cook ad. Don’t remember who it was for, though. Not for fries, I’m pretty sure.

9:35 Yet more brain dead violence from Careerbuilder.com. Somebody make it stop. This by far the worst year for Superbowl ads ever. And it ‘s not even done. All this gratuitous violence makes me grateful for the glimpse of gratuitous sex in the GoDaddy.com ads.

9:55 But really who cares, it looks like I’m going to beat the spread, and I’ve got fifty bucks riding on it with my buddy Gil Roth and beating the spread will make me 6-5 over the course of the playoffs. Your personal football prognostications savant. Like I said at the beginning, comparing myself to the Hyman Roth character in Godfather II: He always made money for his partners.

GAME OVER!! I beat the line!