Ron Rosenbaum

Live-Blogging the Superbowl Ads

Yes I know everyone does it, but therefore why shouldn’t I? People seemed to enjoy agreeing and disagreeing with me about my Geico comments (see below).

So here goes, not every ad but ones that strike me in some way as worth citing. beginning with ESPN at…


11;29 a.m. Campbell’s Chunky Soupmakes a bad bet. Featuring Seachicks QB Matt H. as big Chunky Soup freak. Must have been filmed during reg. season or earlier in the playoffs. They gambled and got a Big L Loser rather than one of the two S.B. QBs. Or is it they just couldn’t afford Brady or Manning?

11:51 Ad for The Denny’s PBA Pro Bowling Tour Promo. Contain your excitement!

11:52 The UPS Whiteboard Ad. You know, guy doodles on a whiteboard, showing how simple it all is. I find the strained minimalism irritating, and a bit condescending. Does their target audience–big corporate shipping execs, I’d guess–want to be told they’re ignorant as children?


1:53 Less than ten minutes to official CBS begins its covereage, a mere four and a half hours before the kick off. I’m hoping for some really ugly, phony postmodern graphics for the opening.

2:01 Cuba Gooding Jr? Promoting a horrible looking new movie? How, well, un-Super. Followed by 90s type neo-Star Wars, graphics? Very down market, NFL and CBS.

2:11 Could Sam Watertson have decided to sell out to T.D. Waterhouse merely because of the similarity of Waterston and Waterhouse. I gues it’s more superficially dignified than “Sam Waterston for Ranch-flavored Tostitos. Still I feel he shouldn’t be able to commodify and sell off the troubled integrity which makes some episodes of Law and Order genuinely troubling. It feels like it belongs to us too.


2:45 Should I admit that I really like the winner of the CBS amateur video ad contest mainly because the cat in the anti-racist ad is the same color orange as my cat, Bruno? Did you know that there are no female orange tabbies? I feel this is a great unexplored genetic mystery. That’s what I call a thougt-provoking ad.

4:45 Sorry. I tried to stay awake through the endless “human interest storylines” CBS confected to fill four and a half hours, but I defy any human to be interested in them.

I wake up to the stupidest sponsored feature so far: McDonald’s “Pounders”. This consists entirely of film of NFL players getting concussion level hits while running plays or catching passes. It’s in particularly bad taste, this fake macho crap, in the light of the recent reports in ESPN Magazine and the Times about the brain damage that NFL head injury violence inflicts on its players. The ultra-violence is encouraged and rewarded by idiot features like McDonald’s. Whoever at McDonald’s thought this was a good idea deserves a “pounder” of his own, just like the one he apparently relishes others suffering.

5:40 best co-opted background music; some GMC truck whose name I forgot. Because they use the classic Modern English song, “I’ll Stop the World and Melt With You” (from the soundtrack of Valley Girl as I’m sure you all remember. As rendered by someone who sounds like the great Rickie Lee Jones. I’m not crazy about the CGI visuals in this ad but got to give props for the song choice.


5:51 Pre-game “entertainment”. Is it possible for there to exist in this, or any parallel alternate universe imaginable, anything more boring than Cirque de Soleil? I think the question was just answered by the interminable cirque de snoozathon inflicted on us by CBS and the NFL. Whose decision was this? It had the effect on the sneenses of a concussive blow to the head. Give that man a McDonald’s “Pounder”.

5:54 Stop it PLEASE!! It’s still going on. How many times can you watch grinning clowns do somersaults and pose winsomely with painted faces?

Okay, it’s 6 PM, 25 minutes from kickoff. Now’s the time the truly innovative, breakthrough ads are going to appear right? I’m going to start a new post.

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