A Blogosphere First! A Turning Point In Blog History!

I must admit I’m astonished by the gracious apology from commenter Irina, recently. The atmosphere in the comments section of most blogs is thick with imprecations from know-it-alls who are oh-so-proud of their poorly crafted insults.

This is the first time I know of that a commenter actually had second thoughts and was generous and open minded enough to admit them in public. it might be the first time ever! Could this be a turning point in blogospheric history?

But it’s an instance of how angry, bitter, and fractious the discourse on double-suicides Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake has become; people get carried away.

Believe me I approach this as an agnostic with no axe to grind, hadn’t even intended more than one post, but there were questions in my mind and in the mind of a lot of other people. Questions that may never be answered but seem to me to be worth asking.

Primarily this one: what happened to this talented woman that led her to a cocktail of bourbon and Tylenol PM according to most reports? Was her boyfriend’s suicide necessary? part of pact? Did he have to carry it out? Where were his friends that final day of his life when he had to call one of my sources, someone he hadn’t spoken to after angrily denouncing for nearly a year? Maybe some of those friends are feeling guilty, thus their bitterness about people asking questions.

A couple of commenters have anonymously cast aspersions about everyone inquisitive about Theresa and Jeremy’s death but them. if they know everyone else is wrong, they must know the truth, right. otherwise how can they be so sure everyone else is wrong? But they haven’t shared that with us Outsiders. Please, if you have facts share. I don’t want to encourage unfounded, uncorroborated rumors.

One apparent misunderstanding may be my fault. I thought it was obvious that my source, the person who received Jeremy’s pre-suicide advice plea wouldn’t talk to me unless I granted him confidentiality. I knew who he was, he corroborated his version of events with documents, I don’t blame him for not subjecting himself to the growing ugliness. (What is it about commenter culture in general? In a recent piece for The Atlantic June, 2007 I suggested that it had something to do with “cyber-disinhibition” the ability of the anonymous commenter to hide like a coward behind his anonymity and throw stones without fear of revealing him or herself.)

However, to return to my source on what may be Jeremy’s last words and the way the couple could turn on friends, let me repeat I knew him before this, had met him, we had people in common in our professional life, and he provided corroboration of his story in the form of e mails from Theresa and Jeremy. In other words he was not anonymous to me and if you’re skeptical of his account because he doesn’t want his name used that’s not my problem.

I’ve been careful to try to label speculations as speculations, but in the course of sifting through speculation, certain facts and patterns often emerge. I’ve said that I initially didn’t plan any follow ups, I just wanted to pay tribute to Theresa in particular since I admired her blog so much, but the controversy over their deaths and the sadness is a tribute to how much people cared for them and–thus–why people wondered what went wrong. I think an honest attempt to sort things out is something worthwhile.

So I’ll have more to come on this from my source and other sources, but keep in mind the big question which some of her friends could shed light on is: what REALLY started all this? What exactly convinced Theresa (and Jeremy) “they” were out to get her (them). And is there any real corroborating evidence for it (please be specific) or was it a delusion?

Meanwhile thank you again Irina, for your good nature and for making blogospheric history. I was really touched (and I apologize for my initial irritability). Maybe it will be the a turning point. I’m not calling for all-kumbaya all the time from commenters, but it seems like the venom is unnecessary. Life is too short to put up with it or subject others to it.