It’s only been a few short weeks but we’ve gone from … Trump is running… really?… to…. Did he say what I thought he said?… He’s ahead?… THAT far? … to… He said WHAT?… He’s even further ahead???….. No one else is on television?…. Who’s going to beat him?
Well, the answer to the last question is probably only The Donald himself — and time will tell on that. But I think, if he wins the Republican nomination, far from an impossibility at the moment, he will have an easier time with the Democrats.
Can you imagine Trump against Hillary (if she’s not indicted by then) or Trump against Sanders? The former would be a demolition derby and the latter would be a hoot. Wait until Donald tries to get Sanders to defend Greece. Socialism has never worked in history, not once, but damned if Bernie knows. We can rely on Donald to tell him.
And here’s another thing. Who do you think will really do better with blacks and Latinos in the end — Hillary, Bernie or Home Boy who can get you a job? They’re not idiots.
Look, I’m sorry for the other Republican candidates. There’re a lot of good ones actually. But let’s skip to the bottom line. What would a Trump presidency look like?
To start with the obvious — flashy. Designer gowns are back at the White House — with extra gold lame and very big steaks at state dinners, hold the kale. Everything Obama is out (thankfully) except golf. Golf is way in as never before. Negotiations will be handled quickly, Trump style. Many will be fired, but there’ll be more jobs in the private sector for them to go to. Iran will be out. Israel in. (Little known fact: Donald has a company over there called Trump Drinks Israel that markets Trump-branded vodka to the Israeli and Palestinian market …I thought they weren’t supposed to drink). Reruns of The Apprentice will be mandated on all cable channels after midnight.
IN: Hair pieces, Tony Bennett albums (with and without Lady Gaga), cufflinks, New York accents circa 1953, social conservatism (lip service only, sorry), super models, gold escalators.
OUT: John Podesta, microagressions, trigger warnings (they are way out), anybody who doesn’t think Donald is great, anybody who has mixed feelings about Donald, Code Pink, comparative literature professors, John Kerry, John Kerry’s sailboat, the IRS.
Now does that sound bad? Certainly a lot better than we’ve been experiencing lately. So, as we learned years ago from the subtitle of Dr. Strangelove… How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb… this is How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Donald Trump.
And as for ISIS, all Donald will ever say to them is, you guessed it, “You’re fired!”