Roger L. Simon

'Voters for Hillary' Calling—A True Story

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I was with my wife and daughter in the kitchen dishing out dinner Thursday evening,  discussing the news of the day, when my cell phone rang. I glanced at it — unknown number from Orange County — and, even though I feared a salesman, took the plunge and said hello.

“Am I speaking with Roger Simon?” came a hoarse male voice. Now I was sure it was a salesman.

“Yes,” I said in growing trepidation.  “Who’s calling?”

“This is ‘Voters for Hillary’.”

“What?!”  I immediately thought it was a prank.

“‘Voters for Hillary.’  We’re —”

“‘Voters for Hillary.’ Are you kidding me?  Didn’t you read the New York Times today?”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Uranium One. The Clinton Foundation. ”

“Yes. That’s right.  The Clinton Foundation. We’d like your support. We—”

“Are you crazy?” I was starting to shout.  “Don’t you know what’s going on? Because of the Clintons, Putin got twenty percent of America’s uranium!”

“What’re you talking about?” The man sounded genuinely puzzled. This was news to him.

“What’m I…?”  By this time I was shrieking into the phone.  My wife and daughter were looking at me, half amazed, half hysterical. We had just been discussing that latest putrid evolution of the Clinton scandal, but getting into the weeds with this nitwit was more than I could handle.   “Oh, forget it,” I clicked off.

No, I don’t know how the “Voters for Hillary” got my cell number.  (Yes, they’re real.  They have a Facebook page).  Maybe they just dial at random in California, figuring almost everyone’s a Hillary supporter. But it should be a warning, even though we already know it. A whole lot of people out there are clueless, even those working for candidates, and likely to remain so.  I didn’t get into the 30,000 erased emails with this character but I doubt he would have heard of them.  That the Clinton Foundation was suddenly refiling five years (or possibly the last decade) of taxes and that some $140 million in foreign donations had somehow mysteriously disappeared in the midst of the uranium sale would probably have gone flying over this dude’s head.  One wonders if he would have cared.  He was more than likely on a commission anyway.  At least I hope he was.  If he’s a volunteer, at this point he should be committed.

But weird — and black comic — as everything is these days, the Clintons are an American greed story beyond Sinclair Lewis’ wildest imagination. The president who diddled an intern is the same dude as the ex-president who delivers speeches at $500,000 a pop in Moscow while his wife is making deals with their government.  Can you imagine what it will be like in this country if Hillary actually succeeds in getting elected after all this?  We will have a president the majority of people think is a bald-faced liar to start with.  Where does she go from there? She will have no way to recover the trust of the American people.  It will never happen.  We will live in a miserable, strange land as the globe goes to Hell (or continues to). If “liberals'” (or whatever they choose to call themselves) don’t replace her at this point, they hate us and themselves.

And if Ms. Loretta Lynch, our new attorney general, does not launch an investigation into the Clinton Foundation and its $145 million uranium deal with Russia, not to mention the destroyed emails and whatever else is to come (General Electric?), Ms. Lynch is about as interested in justice as Himmler.  But we should be reassured, I suppose, since the New York Times is telling us she wants to strike a “new tone.”  While she’s at it, maybe she can help Trey Gowdy (who’s looking a little more active these days)  shake free some of those missing Benghazi emails as well.

But I’m not trusting them for a minute.  I’m trusting you and me.  It’s up to us to make sure there’s no Hillary in ’16 and save our country (and the world).  Whatever you do, don’t stop. As that fat man said, “Never, never, never give up!”  Who knows — we might even get his statue back in the White House.

Roger L. Simon — co-founder of PJ Media — is an Academy Award-nominated screenwriter and a multi-award winning novelist. He will soon be launching a new column on PJM, “Diary of Mad Voter,” covering the 2016 presidential election. He is also working on a book on moral narcissism for Encounter Books.

(Artwork created using a modified Shutterstock.com image.)