Roger L. Simon

Iowa Fatigue

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am sick of Iowa and its citizens – sick of hearing about them, sick of hearing about their visitors, sick of their anointed importance. Who made Iowa God of the Western World? Why Iowa?

I know – it’s a traditional part of our system. But like most traditions, it can outlive its usefulness – and this one has. Why not just rotate primary states every four years? It would seem logical, no? And even democratic. But, no, the folks down at Zeek’s Coffee Shop on East Main in West Snoops, Iowa have to press the flesh of Sally or Sid Shmerdlap every four years to see if he/she or she/he qualifies to be the savior of Western Civ and heaven help us if this happens in, say, Nebraska instead of Iowa.

Enough of this.

Besides the obvious recommendation above that we start rotating the primary states, there is an even greater spin-off: We wouldn’t have to deal with that pompous hypocrite Tom Harkin and his personal cholesterol fest anymore.