Roger L. Simon

'08: the long and tedious road -why doesn't Jackie Mason run?

The NYT today trumpets that Obama is trying to jump start his campaign by talking tough to Hillary (or something):

“I don’t think people know what her agenda exactly is,” Mr. Obama continued, citing Social Security, Iraq and Iran as issues on which she had not been fully forthcoming.

“Now it’s been very deft politically,” he said. “But one of the things that I firmly believe is that we’ve got to be clear with the American people right now about the important choices that we’re going to need to make in order to get a mandate for change, not to try to obfuscate and avoid being a target in the general election.”

Oh, blather. One of the things Obama ought to know is that any time anyone uses the words “…one of the things that I firmly believe is that we’ve got be clear with the American people right now about the important choices that we’re going to need to make…” is that anyone who had been previously awake has just gone to sleep. We’re not listening. And we shouldn’t be. The words “firmly believe” by themselves should be “firmly” banned from the English language. They constitute such a tiresome cliché you can’t even parody them. It’s too boring. If that’s Barack’s idea of a jump start, he better try Ambien.

Now giving Obama his due, which isn’t a lot, the way the American presidential campaign is currently structured even Jackie Mason himself might put us all to sleep. No one has that much interesting to say for so long – and certainly not politicians, not any living ones anyway.

I have an idea. Why not after six months of campaigning we have an option of voting all candidates out on both sides and bringing in fresh ones? At least it would help us stay awake. The way things are going now, whoever assumes the Presidency in ’09, it’s going to seem as if they’re already well into their second term by the time they’re sworn in. In Hillary’s case, make that a fourth term.