Anheuser-Busch: Buy Bud Light, or We'll Fire Some Idiot Peasants Like You

(AP Photo/Paul Beaty, File)

The dethroned king of beers has fallen on hard times. Its short-lived dalliance with fake woman Dylan Mulvaney and implicit endorsement of the Left’s efforts to force us all to accept the trans madness has not only cost Bud Light its position as America’s top-selling beer, but the Drag Queen of beers isn’t even in the top ten anymore. Bud Light is now the 14th-best-selling beer in the United States, and fairly soon, Anheuser-Busch executives will look back fondly at the days when it was as high as 14th place.


The financial news site Benzinga reported Monday that “a recent YouGov survey reveals the decline in Bud Light’s ranking, casting it below competitors like Pabst Bue [sic] Ribbon, Miller Genuine Draft, and Miller Lite.” In a telling indication that Anheuser-Busch and its friends are now pulling out all the stops to save their former flagship brand, Benzinga notes slyly that the grassroots boycott that has led to the unprecedented consumer abandonment of Bud Light is hurting the common man: “This seismic shift in popularity jeopardizes the livelihoods of the 65,000 people whose economic well-being is intricately tied to Anheuser-Busch InBev’s success.”

The upshot of this is that now apparently Anheuser-Busch and Benzinga want us to join Ted Lieu and Adam Schiff in quaffing Bud Light because if we don’t, some people who aren’t woke ideologues or trans exhibitionists will suffer. And yeah, that’s a real pity, but it’s hardly a positive or inspiring marketing come-on. It does, however, look as if Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth is going with it. He has said of the boycott and sales drop that “it’s the impact honestly on the employees that weighs the most on me.”

When someone uses the word “honestly” in that way, it’s usually because he isn’t being honest. Benzinga adds that “Whitworth called on people not to punish the workforce but rather to attribute blame to him.” All right, Brendan. If you want people to believe what you’re saying, then apologize for bringing Mulvaney on and resign. Otherwise, shedding crocodile tears over the peasants you’re going to have to lay off if people keep on avoiding Bud Light is reminiscent of the classic National Lampoon cover from 1973: “If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill This Dog.” If you don’t buy this watery, inferior beer, we’ll fire some idiot right-wingers just like you.


At the same time, however, Anheuser-Busch won’t even commit to keeping Mulvaney at the far end of a ten-foot pole in the future. While the beer giant “has attempted to downplay Mulvaney’s role in its overall strategy, Whitworth confirmed that the company will maintain its partnerships without making any changes.”

Does that mean that Bud Light could ask Mulvaney to draw another bubble bath and tarnish the product further? Their man is sulking in Macchu Picchu and griping about how his beer baron friends abandoned him in his hour of need: “I was scared, and I was scared of more backlash, and I felt personally guilty for what transpired, so I patiently waited for things to get better. But surprise, they didn’t. And I was waiting for the brand to reach out to me, but they never did.”

Related: This Must Be a Joke, Right? Anheuser-Busch Just Won the Most Undeserved Award Ever

It is not too late. Whitworth “did not explicitly apologize for the collaboration with Mulvaney, despite some consumers demanding an official acknowledgment of the mistake as a prerequisite for restoring their patronage.” Anheuser-Busch can’t apologize because that will cause it further trouble with the woke hall monitors who grade corporations on how welcoming they are to the homosexual agenda and the trans madness. Anheuser-Busch has already paid a price for not standing by Mulvaney and telling the MAGA-hatted yahoos where to get off, and the woke have unlimited funds they can use to increase the pressure.

And so instead of an apology, “Whitworth and Bud Light’s brand head Todd Allen launched a new summer campaign. The company plans to triple its investments this year, including increased spending on sports, primetime, and cable television advertisements. It remains uncertain whether these efforts will be sufficient to rectify the situation and rebuild the brand’s reputation.”


Here’s your answer, gentlemen: no. No, your efforts to change the subject will not work, and Bud Light will not revive unless and until Americans get that apology. Patriots have had enough of having the trans agenda, and other Leftist insanity, forced upon us. Anheuser-Busch is the first corporation to be made to understand that, and it looks as if the lesson still has to be learned.


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