News & Politics

Justice at Last? The Latest in Ted Cruz v. Ben Sasse Dr. PepperGate

Sen. Ben Sasse, R-Neb., left, and Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, confer as Christine Blasey Ford speaks before the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing, Thursday, Sept. 27, 2018 in Washington. (Michael Reynolds/Pool Image via AP)

On Thursday, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) at last reclaimed the Dr. Pepper fridge that the dastardly Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) stole last week, in a moment of infamy. While the refrigerator was in his possession, the cunning Nebraskan had disguised his theft by papering over the stunning image of the glorious Dr. Pepper with a sign reading “CORN.”

“Sir, that’s our corn fridge,” a Sasse staffer told Cruz as the rightful owner of the Dr. Pepper fridge reclaimed his property. (Never steal a Texan’s Dr. Pepper fridge!)

“I understand,” Cruz responded, as spectators burst into laughter.

The fridge was stolen last Wednesday, and according to the video, it had remained empty. Sasse disguised the Dr. Pepper fridge, not only by rebranding it with “CORN,” but also by filling it with cans of corn. Those familiar with the dastardly theft of Ben Sasse would not be taken in, however.

At last, the fridge was returned to its rightful place in Cruz’s office. No duel was required, but the Texan ventured across the halls of Congress to redeem his stolen property. Justice was served.

Yet the Texan’s glorious Dr. Pepper fridge has been marred by the ugly “CORN” sticker. Ted Cruz may still have a grievance.

Texans have been known to hold a grudge. Will Ted Cruz return to steal something from the dastardly Nebraskan? After all, he was asking for it.

Follow Tyler O’Neil, the author of this article, on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.