On Thursday, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) at last reclaimed the Dr. Pepper fridge that the dastardly Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) stole last week, in a moment of infamy. While the refrigerator was in his possession, the cunning Nebraskan had disguised his theft by papering over the stunning image of the glorious Dr. Pepper with a sign reading “CORN.”
“Sir, that’s our corn fridge,” a Sasse staffer told Cruz as the rightful owner of the Dr. Pepper fridge reclaimed his property. (Never steal a Texan’s Dr. Pepper fridge!)
“I understand,” Cruz responded, as spectators burst into laughter.
Hey @TedCruz — can’t believe you’d just take our corn fridge that we’ve definitely always had and did not steal pic.twitter.com/4t3kUqfZ4x
— Ben Sasse (@BenSasse) May 8, 2019
The fridge was stolen last Wednesday, and according to the video, it had remained empty. Sasse disguised the Dr. Pepper fridge, not only by rebranding it with “CORN,” but also by filling it with cans of corn. Those familiar with the dastardly theft of Ben Sasse would not be taken in, however.
At last, the fridge was returned to its rightful place in Cruz’s office. No duel was required, but the Texan ventured across the halls of Congress to redeem his stolen property. Justice was served.
Yet the Texan’s glorious Dr. Pepper fridge has been marred by the ugly “CORN” sticker. Ted Cruz may still have a grievance.
Texans have been known to hold a grudge. Will Ted Cruz return to steal something from the dastardly Nebraskan? After all, he was asking for it.
Follow Tyler O’Neil, the author of this article, on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.
