News & Politics

Iowa Professor Fears Fuzzy Hawkeye Mascot Could 'TRAUMATIZE' Delicate Students

Once upon a time, people looked at colleges and universities as places of brilliance. Stupid people needed to find somewhere else to be, because college was for the intelligent.

College professors, in particular, had gravitas when it came to matters requiring intelligence. After all, they were viewed as having something to teach the brilliant students.

In reality, colleges are overrun with morons.

See the University of Iowa, for example, where a professor is trying to argue that the mascot, Herky, looks too aggressive — and that students are TRAUMATIZED:

A University of Iowa professor is asking the athletics department to make the university’s mascot, Herky the Hawk, display friendlier facial expressions, arguing that his angry grimace is traumatizing students.

“I believe incoming students should be met with welcoming, nurturing, calm, accepting and happy messages,”Resmiye Oral, a clinical professor of pediatrics, wrote Tuesday in an email to athletic department officials, obtained by the Iowa City Press-Citizen.

“And our campus community is doing a great job in that regard when it comes to words. However, Herky’s angry, to say the least, faces conveying an invitation to aggressivity and even violence are not compatible with the verbal messages that we try to convey to and instill in our students and campus community,” she argued.

Ms. Oral told the Press-Citizen that she has been concerned for some time about Herky the Hawk’s lack of emotional diversity. Her email to the athletics department was included in a message she sent Tuesday morning to her fellow members of the UI Faculty Senate.

Sweet Jeezus. Really?

The university said they’re more focused on making the campus more “safe” and “inclusive,” and hasn’t worried if the fuzzy freaking hawk outfit — which you’ll see high-fiving thrilled five-year-olds on game day, so I’d imagine 18-year-olds can handle it — looks a bit irked.

It’s worth noting that it doesn’t appear as if the special snowflake students were also complaining about Herky. Nope. It’s just Ms. Oral losing it over a mascot’s expression.

Thank God.

Seriously, when even the knee-jerk “I’m Offended” students can’t seem to get worked up over something at this point, it really can’t be too big of a deal. Since today’s college students give every impression that they can’t handle anything they disagree with, that’s saying something.

Perhaps Ms. Oral needs to understand something very vital — something the University of Iowa understands: It’s the perpetually “triggered” that need to figure out why they despise everything, and to change — not vice-versa.

The second saddest part of this is that Oral actually thought she’d be taken seriously. The saddest part? She probably would have been taken seriously at a lot of schools.