There are many fine cities in which to live in the United States. Each of them has its own charm, its own je ne sais quoi that sets it apart from the ordinary, the mundane.
For my part, I don’t see how any list of the best places to live in America could be posted without including San Francisco. I know that’s not a generally held opinion outside some left-wing enclaves and radical salons in certain coastal cities. After all, San Francisco is considered by some to be a “failed city.”
But the skyline is glorious. Nestled in a series of hills with mountains in the distance and the iconic Golden Gate Bridge as a backdrop, it is a unique place to live and work.
If you can afford it.
Glittering towers exist alongside the most nauseating slums in the nation. Residents who can’t afford the astronomical cost of living in the city use the sidewalk — or citizen’s doorway — as a bathroom. Mentally ill people wander the streets. And organized gangs of looters have made it impossible to run a retail business within city limits.
Otherwise, what’s not to like?
San Francisco is a city that sees art everywhere. When homeless people began destroying public garbage cans to get at the valuable contents inside, the city commissioned a new design of garbage cans — at $20,000 a pop. More than half a million dollars just to come up with a design for a trash can.
“They pick the lock, they dump the whole can on the street, and then sort through the things they want while the garbage is either on the sidewalk or out on the street,” a spokesman for the public works department explained.
Oh, my word! Garbage in the streets of San Francisco? Who’d a thunk it?
Here are the finalists in “The Most Beautiful Public Trash Can In History.”
Which trash can would you pick for San Francisco?
Vote here: https://t.co/SZnBXPaYo3 pic.twitter.com/7jOajHhyLs
— San Francisco Chronicle (@sfchronicle) July 23, 2021
What does it say about a city that won’t hire more police to stem the violent crime wave but will spend a half-million dollars to beautify and secure its trash cans? Bizarre.
But San Francisco has other priorities as well. The aforementioned public urination/defecation problem is making life miserable for some residents. So the city has appropriated $1.7 million to build a toilet in San Francisco Plaza.
Yes, you read that right. One toilet — $1.7 million. How is that possible, you ask?
First, an architect needs to draw plans for the toilet, which will then be presented to the public for feedback. The Arts Commission’s Civic Design Review committee will be responsible for conducting a “multi-phase review” of the project, like it does for all projects on public lands. According to the Arts Commission’s website, “the committee evaluates each project’s design, scale and massing for accessibility, safety and aesthetic merit.” The review process “ensures that each project’s design is appropriate to its context in the urban environment, and that structures of the highest design quality reflect their civic stature.”
Oh, for Pete’s sake. It’s a crapper! No need to reinvent the wheel — unless the wheel was invented by a white guy who oppressed dark-skinned people by forcing them to use the wheel as slaves.
No doubt the city had to make the johnny accessible not just for girls and boys but all the other genders that have been invented recently. I’ve never seen these other genders urinate but maybe, like, they do it differently, or something. Whatever it is, it’s a secret, and only the public works department knows for sure.
But San Francisco is still a great place to live — as long as you’re worth a zillion dollars and live high enough away from the street that the smell of human waste and garbage doesn’t ruin the aesthetics of your living conditions.
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