News & Politics

Nike's Holy Water-Injected 'Jesus' Shoes Sell Out in Minutes—at $3000 a Pair

Nike's Holy Water-Injected 'Jesus' Shoes Sell Out in Minutes—at $3000 a Pair

In case you were wondering if we are living among complete reprobates with no concept of financial responsibility, a bunch of idiots are buying “Jesus shoes,” with holy water injected into the soles, for $3000 a pair, making some swindler very rich.

The Christian Post reported,

Brooklyn-based brand MSCHF released a limited-edition Nike Air Max 97 sneaker filled with water from the Jordan River in the soles at a cost of $3,000 per pair. The sneakers, called “Jesus Shoes,” sold out within minutes.

The sneakers were reportedly injected with 60 ccs of water from the Jordan River and blessed by a priest. Gabriel Whaley, the brand’s founder, had fewer than two dozen pair of the MSCHF x INRI Jesus Shoes made. INRI represents the Latin inscription which translates to “Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews.” Each pair was sold for $3,000 and sold out within minutes after the launch.

If you know me at all, you know I hate socialism. But I’m about to make an exception. Anyone who spent $3000 on these shoes should have their salaries confiscated and their property seized and redistributed among the people who didn’t spend $3000 on Nikes, and they should also be excommunicated from whatever church they go to.

That seems a little extreme.

Maybe we could just put signs on their homes that say “idiots live here” or something. There must be some consequence for being this stupid.

I’m not as offended by the sacrilege here because I’ve always believed God has a better sense of humor than any of us. Have you seen the penis snake?

Megan Fox is the author of “Believe Evidence; The Death of Due Process from Salome to #MeToo.” Follow on Twitter @MeganFoxWriter

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