KDJ Happy Hour Update: Bud Light, Hunter Biden, and Merrick Garland Race to See the Titanic

AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh
The Great Race

If you’re looking for a self-destruction win/place/show trifecta, bet I have a tip: Hunter Biden and Bud Light — boxed — is a sure thing, and Merrick Garland is good to “show.”

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Bud Light has taken a brutal clown-slap, losing 28.5% in sales since their advertising wizards came up with their hysterically tragic “trans on a can” buffoonery.

FACT-O-RAMA! Speaking of buffoons, Rolling Stone was only too eager to beclown itself with an article mocking Kid Rock and predicting Bud Light will be “just fine.”

After going radio-silent for a month-long “WTF do we do now” pow-wow, America’s formerly favorite beer followed up with an overly ass-kissy, slapsticky commercial showing Bud Light drinkers as a multicultural (#DEI!) group of wazzocks engaging in painful, skylarking behavior I haven’t seen since the Three Stooges died.

The commercial couldn’t stop the beer goliath from hemorrhaging money, so the advertising master-blasters went back to the board room and decided the next step was to sponsor the Pride parade in Toronto. They had to know the parade would feature naked men, eager to “free willy” even as kids watched.

PRIDE-O-RAMA? Nothing says “dignity” like a bunch of out-of-shape, middle-aged naked dudes on bikes parading through Canada’s largest city.

It seems as if Bud Light knows it is dying and wants in on some of that suh-weet Canadian euthanasia.

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Related: Anheuser-Busch Axes the Marketing Executives Responsible for the Mulvaney Debacle

Running neck-and-neck to the (perhaps ultimate) finish line is America’s First Crackhead, Hunter Biden. The House Oversight Committee came up with a second Hunter Biden text message, which our own Victoria Taft wrote about today.

“The Biden’s are the best I know at doing exactly what the Chairman wants from this partnership,” the text to a Chinese businessman with ties to the Chicoms reads.

Who is the Chairman? Victoria has the answer:

In a follow-up tweet, the Committee dramatically asked, “Who is ‘the Chairman?’” and then they dropped the hammer. It turns out, “the Chairman” is a Chinese billionaire with ties to the CCP’s intelligence agency, and the “Biden’s [sic]” were doing business with them.

Here is the fun part.

The “chairman” is a cat named Ye Jianming. Again, he has links to Beijing’s spy organization. That’s about to become even more important.

Back to Victoria’s story:

Ye stated that CEFC China’s vision “is to obtain overseas resources and serve the national strategy.”

He wanted to expand China’s reach and influence around the world.

RECAP:

  • The Bidens were/are doing business with a Chinese billionaire who has ties to the commie pinko intel agency.
  • Ye also has ties to CEFC, a CCP-linked Chinese Energy Company

Now add this: Miranda Devine of the New York Post reported on Monday that whistleblower Gal Luft claimed that CEFC “paid $100,000 a month to Hunter Biden and $65,000 to his uncle Jim, in exchange for their FBI connections and use of the Biden name to promote China’s Belt and Road Initiative around the world.

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I added the boldface to “FBI connections.”

In case you were wondering why the FBI sat on Hunter’s laptop, refused to investigate him, and why the DOJ thwarted IRS whistleblower Gary Shapley’s attempts to prosecute Hunter, it’s not due to a budding bromance between Merrick Garland and Gropey Joe Biden; it’s because the Chinese spy agency paid the Bidens for their FBI connections.

So the Bidens made mad stacks by selling their influence — and FBI contacts — to China’s intel agency.

DEFINITION-O-RAMA!

Treason
trē′zən

noun

  1. The betrayal of allegiance toward one’s own country, especially by committing hostile acts against it or aiding its enemies in committing such acts.
  2. The betrayal of someone’s trust or confidence.
  3. A betraying; treachery; breach of faith.

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