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'Bond, Zhim Bond': The Non-Binary Spy Who Loved Me

'Bond, Zhim Bond': The Non-Binary Spy Who Loved Me
(AP Photo/Michael Sohn, File)

The woke monster is hungry and he/she/it is going after James Bond now, leaving spy fans…wait for it…shaken, not stirred.

Apparently, the brains behind the James Bond franchise have decided to ignore Trump’s warning about “woke.”


Language Warning!


So of course the world may soon have a non-binary James Bond. Call it a case of toxic miniscuility.

The current Bond actor, Daniel Craig, is leaving the decades-old Bond franchise. Hollywood gossip suggested that the next Bond actor might be black. Some wondered if Bond would ever be a woman.

Barbara Broccoli, the head honcho of all things Bond was asked on the “Girls on Film” podcast was recently asked about a she-Bond.

“I think we should be making more films about women. I think Bond will be a man,” Broccoli stated.

When asked about a non-binary Bond, Broccoli responded.

“Non-binary, perhaps, maybe one day?” Broccoli answered “Who knows? I mean, I think it’s open. We just have to find the right actor.”

Where would they find a British actor who can pull off non-binary?

That’s a joke.

FACT-O-RAMA! Non-binary is wokespeak for a person who doesn’t “identify” as being a man or a woman. Example: Don Lemon. Also a joke, Sort of…


More importantly, why do we need a gender-confused spy? How can the world’s greatest spy take on Russian terrorists if it doesn’t know which undies to wear? Also, will legions of Bond fans shell out the cheddar to see a Bond chasing Russian thugs while wearing heels? What would they call the movie? On Her Majesty’s Dirty Secret? From Russia With Confusion? Quantum of Antifa? Octopussy?

By the looks of Daniel Craig’s jacket, the “transitioning” has begun.

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