News & Politics

Triggering Leftists, Trump's Reelection Campaign Is Selling Plastic Straws

Plastic Trump Straw from Campaign website.

Many people in this country do not yet understand the scourge of paper straws. Useless instruments forced on those who live in leftist-controlled parts of the country, paper straws remind me of the jokes from my elementary school days involving screen doors on a submarine. Well, in a light-hearted (and needed) take down of the absurdity that is the leftist’s desire to push society backwards, President Trump’s reelection campaign is selling environmentally friendly plastic straws.

The straw, which is red, of course, boasts the name of our president written down its side. Going for $15 for a pack of 10, the campaign website astutely urges, “Liberal paper straws don’t work. STAND WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP and buy your pack of recyclable straws today.”

While some may find the straws pricey, can you really put a price tag on irritating leftists while dining out? Think about it. If you are unfortunate to live in one of the leftist enclaves dragging this country down, imagine the angst you can generate when you politely decline the pointless paper straw your server offers you by proudly and loudly proclaiming, “No, thank you. I brought a President Trump plastic straw that helps make drinking great again.”

Those on the left are predictably triggered by the plastic Trump straws. HuffPost whined:

A growing number of communities are banning or restricting single-use plastic straws due to their environmental harm, and some companies have voluntarily phased them out.  That move has become a point of grievance in right-wing media, with Fox News doing multiple segments railing against straw bans.

Given that the goal ― aside from raising money for the 2020 election ― is to mock the environmental agenda of the left, the page promoting the straws included a curious fact: These straws are recyclable, reusable and BPA-free.

A small yet important correction needs to be added to HuffPost’s triggered words – the goal isn’t to “mock the environmental agenda of the left,” the goal is to “mock the idiotic environmental agenda of the left.”

I don’t know any conservatives who are opposed to sensible environmental reforms that don’t undermine human flourishing. Sensible leftists (an oxymoron, I realize) should be celebrating that President Trump’s campaign is encouraging the use of environmentally friendly plastic straws without undermining progress.