News & Politics

Now Tucker Carlson Has Angered the U.S. Space Command

AP Photo/Richard Drew

First things first: Tucker Carlson is my friend and I won’t pretend to be unbiased about him. I’ve known him ever since he hired me at the Daily Caller in 2010. He was a great boss, and he went out of his way to help me when an illegally operated State Department security vehicle crippled me for life. I have a lot of respect for him. We don’t agree on everything, and I’m not going to defend every single thing he’s ever said in his life (nor would he expect me to), but I’ve seen with my own eyes what a good man he is. So if you want to dismiss me out of hand for that bias, feel free to stop reading now.

Still there? Okay. So, at this point I barely pay attention to the outrage du jour Tucker has kicked up. That’s his job, and there’s nobody better. Making libs mad is his business, and business is good. But this latest one is flabbergasting. Now he’s actually got Democrats defending… the military???

Here’s what Tucker said the other day about the encroaching wokeness in the United States armed forces:

So now all the libs are screaming and crying that Tucker doesn’t want women in the military, he hates women, etc. Just the usual hysterical nonsense. They don’t care what he said or why. They just hate him, they want to get rid of him, and this is as good an excuse as any.

Should pregnant women be in combat? I’ve never really thought about it, but… I’m kinda okay with it! I tend to take the same view as ’90s comedian Bill Hicks did about gays in the military: Anybody who wants to kill people for their country should be able to. (Hicks wasn’t that polite about it, but I’ll let you google it for yourself.)

You know what? Let’s prohibit everybody except pregnant women from serving in combat. Also, the enemy must speak to and about our warriors using their preferred pronouns. That’ll show ’em!

So far, this has been just another phony outrage. But here’s where my eyebrows went up: a uniformed Space Command guy just called out Tucker.

Ladies and gentlemen: U.S. Marine Corps Master Gunnery Sergeant Scott H. Stalker.

Your tax dollars at work.

I’m no expert on the military, but don’t these guys have anything better to do with their time than cutting wrestling promos on civilians? “You listen and you listen well, Mister Tucker Carlson: We will settle this in the squared circle on Sunday at Wrestlemania 37. I’ll shove that bowtie where the studio lights don’t shine!”

And doesn’t the military have regulations about uniformed personnel making political statements? Isn’t that one of the things you give up when you join? Isn’t that the whole point of having civilian oversight of the military? Aren’t taxpayers allowed to speak up about where their money is going?

I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s nuts. Can you imagine if somebody did this while Trump was president? Just picture a uniformed military officer calling out Anderson Cooper or Rachel Maddow. Every newspaper in the country would be $#!++ing bricks directly onto the front page. Brian Stelter’s head would explode like somebody forgot to poke holes in it before putting it in the microwave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria.

If Tucker wanted to prove that today’s armed forces need a priority check, he couldn’t have written a better script than this. The military isn’t supposed to be publicly haranguing American citizens for criticizing them.

Now drop and give me 20 apologies, you disgusting fat body! MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!!!