News & Politics

German Nudist Chases Wild Boar That Stole His Laptop

(Facebook screenshot)

Sometimes you don’t even need to think of a clever headline. Just tell people what happened and they want to know more. And admit it, Dear Reader, you do want to know more.

The last time a German made anybody laugh, he had to shoot himself in the head after giving a cyanide capsule to Eva Braun. That sort of dedication to the craft has been missing ever since. But now, 75 years later, Deutsche Komödie is back!

Associated Press:

A German nudist had the last laugh after giving chase to a wild boar that had run off with a bag containing his laptop.

Pictures posted on social media show the naked man running after a sow and her two piglets to the mirth of fellow bathers at Berlin’s Teufelssee, or Devil’s Lake.

Adele Landauer, an actor and coach who says she took the pictures, wrote that the man “gave his all.”

You really need to see it for yourself. Well, you don’t need to, but if you’re still reading this, you’re about to see it.

Berlin: a naked man chasing a wild pig and piglets through a public park because they stole a plastic bag containing his laptop.See how dangerous plastic bags are to wild life!

Posted by Diane Lindsay on Friday, August 7, 2020

Talk about a couple of hams! See, this is why they invented lederhosen.

If you need a soundtrack to this unforgettable scene:

I do have questions, though:

  1. Does Berlin have a lot of wild pigs in public parks? (The actual pigs, I mean, that’s not a fat joke.)
  2. Does Berlin have a lot of nudists in public parks? (The actual nudist, I mean, that’s not a pig joke.)
  3. Why would a nudist bring a laptop to the park? What’s he gonna do, Google “Wo sind meine Klamotten?”
  4. What was the pig going to do with the laptop? Did it need to Google “Wo ist die Klamotten dieses Typen?”
  5. Does Germany have a plastic bag tax? If so, which of those two is expected to pay it?

Happy Friday, everybody. Stay safe out there, and keep an eye on your laptop while you’re letting it all hang out at the park.

(Hat tip: Jonathan Swan)